J
E
T
S
JETS
JETS
JETS!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHA. . . . GHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
**********
I have this odd premontion that i'm not going to be very happy in my life. Maybe i should start learning another language because i dont think i'll be successfull enough to be happy in the US without selling my fucking soul to corporate america, and if i were to make enough money by selling my soul to corporate america i wont be happy either. Or maybe i'm too fucking picky. Or maybe too idealistic. Or maybe just frustrated. Or maybe i really am not good enough at what i do to do it. Maybe i'm really only good at doing menial jobs for hourly wages making other people rich because thats what i've done in the past. Or that's my place in this fucking society. if that is the case i'm in big shit because i cant/wont do that for the rest of my life. . or really any of it. Or maybe it's not just america, i've never been out of the US or Canada so i dont know why i should think things are different abroad.
I am resentful that i went to college, my degree surprisingly has only come back to hurt me.
I am pissed that the things i'm good at are hard to make money with. Well, i'll reiterate. . all conceit aside, i'm good at everyfucking thing i do, but the things i that i'm good at that i actually like are hard to make money with.
I am angry and question my life choices in the fact that i've been playing bass and studying music going on (its 2005 now?) 14 years and i've been in 1 (one) band that i actually enjoyed. And of that one band that i enjoyed, i've been in 0 (zero) bands that i considered a worthwhile musical/business/career/etc venture. One in fourteen years. Isnt that a fucking horrible track record for someone who's only 24 years old? Thats more than half my fucking life.
I am enraged by the fact that people tell me i'm good at what i do, yet i still cant do anything with it. That means they're either patronizing me or i'm really just a fuckup, or a little of both.
I'm frustrated by the fact that i always find myself subordinate to people with about 1/25th my mental capacity. How the hell am i supposed to deal with people in authority positions over me when they get resentful or spiteful because things i say are way over their heads. I mean how dumb do i have to act to get ahead, without acting dumb?
I'm confused at where i want to be. I mean, i would love to get back to NYC (and that would mean affording it.) I would love to continue travelling all over the world. Cant do that without money. And as much as i love city life and dont think i can live without it, there's something inside me that might just want to find a home with tons of land in the middle of nowhere and become a recluse. Prefferably an eclectic rich recluse.
I dont expect anyone to have an answer for me, that would be foolish. I do however wish people would stop giving me these wishy-washy fucking psuedo-motivational generic "you can do it" "just work hard and it will come" "i'm sure you'll figure it out" "you deserve the best" bullshit nonstatements. Over the years people have come to me for advice because they know that whether they like it or not, i'm going to tell them exactly what i think. I always give a decisive answer with strict logical and systematic reasoning behind it. On the off chance that i ever ask for advice (which honestly is one step away from never), i dont want to be mickey moused along to make me feel better. Thats not what i'm looking for. I really just want an answer to the fucking questions i fucking ask. But thats probably expecting too much from people. I should know better. I only expect the worst from people, and even then, they still manage to undershoot me. I'm gonna release some steam on the toilet with a Hunter S book for a little while. Blach.
E
T
S
JETS
JETS
JETS!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHA. . . . GHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
**********
I have this odd premontion that i'm not going to be very happy in my life. Maybe i should start learning another language because i dont think i'll be successfull enough to be happy in the US without selling my fucking soul to corporate america, and if i were to make enough money by selling my soul to corporate america i wont be happy either. Or maybe i'm too fucking picky. Or maybe too idealistic. Or maybe just frustrated. Or maybe i really am not good enough at what i do to do it. Maybe i'm really only good at doing menial jobs for hourly wages making other people rich because thats what i've done in the past. Or that's my place in this fucking society. if that is the case i'm in big shit because i cant/wont do that for the rest of my life. . or really any of it. Or maybe it's not just america, i've never been out of the US or Canada so i dont know why i should think things are different abroad.
I am resentful that i went to college, my degree surprisingly has only come back to hurt me.
I am pissed that the things i'm good at are hard to make money with. Well, i'll reiterate. . all conceit aside, i'm good at everyfucking thing i do, but the things i that i'm good at that i actually like are hard to make money with.
I am angry and question my life choices in the fact that i've been playing bass and studying music going on (its 2005 now?) 14 years and i've been in 1 (one) band that i actually enjoyed. And of that one band that i enjoyed, i've been in 0 (zero) bands that i considered a worthwhile musical/business/career/etc venture. One in fourteen years. Isnt that a fucking horrible track record for someone who's only 24 years old? Thats more than half my fucking life.
I am enraged by the fact that people tell me i'm good at what i do, yet i still cant do anything with it. That means they're either patronizing me or i'm really just a fuckup, or a little of both.
I'm frustrated by the fact that i always find myself subordinate to people with about 1/25th my mental capacity. How the hell am i supposed to deal with people in authority positions over me when they get resentful or spiteful because things i say are way over their heads. I mean how dumb do i have to act to get ahead, without acting dumb?
I'm confused at where i want to be. I mean, i would love to get back to NYC (and that would mean affording it.) I would love to continue travelling all over the world. Cant do that without money. And as much as i love city life and dont think i can live without it, there's something inside me that might just want to find a home with tons of land in the middle of nowhere and become a recluse. Prefferably an eclectic rich recluse.
I dont expect anyone to have an answer for me, that would be foolish. I do however wish people would stop giving me these wishy-washy fucking psuedo-motivational generic "you can do it" "just work hard and it will come" "i'm sure you'll figure it out" "you deserve the best" bullshit nonstatements. Over the years people have come to me for advice because they know that whether they like it or not, i'm going to tell them exactly what i think. I always give a decisive answer with strict logical and systematic reasoning behind it. On the off chance that i ever ask for advice (which honestly is one step away from never), i dont want to be mickey moused along to make me feel better. Thats not what i'm looking for. I really just want an answer to the fucking questions i fucking ask. But thats probably expecting too much from people. I should know better. I only expect the worst from people, and even then, they still manage to undershoot me. I'm gonna release some steam on the toilet with a Hunter S book for a little while. Blach.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
yeah - i love how pple think if they eat nothing but mandarin oranges and dryer lint or eat like a football team and takey the magic pill they will be fit. ummmm, no. tx, btw.
ok, don't you hate it when you have a legitimate set of thoughtful gripes (as above) and pple recite stuff from "chicken soup for the serial killer's soul" or one of those horrid SARK things and expect you to buck up lil camper? well, i will refrain from insulting yr intelligence and say this - the reality is that sell-outs usually end up on top, but every now and again a good guy breaks through, and i do hope it is you. that said, its funny, because i was recently talking to someone who had the GALL to say money doesn't buy happiness. and i replied that i've never had a problem that money made worse, because money buys freedom, and i can make my own happiness. i do NOT worship currency, but i do recognize the way it catalyzes everything. which is ridiculous, but true. even in this field that i love, i am often surrounded by idiots that make everything harder than it needs to be. anyway - maybe you will get a female impersonation gig and make yr fortune in high heels. the mens love that in NO.