So,
It's been 4 days since my last contact with the junkie stripper who just got out of prison, and yeah for a few days I was real fucked up about it. I'm better now....sort of. I'm still dealing with he residual effects of that experience, namely the whole 'the only people who are attracted to me are severely damaged" thing. But the Redneck blind date never happened thankfully. But I'm still dealing with lonliness issues. CHRIST! why the fuck can't I find someone who isn't completely damaged goods? I mean I know I'm not exactly the bastion of sanity and all things normal. But, is it too much to ask to find a girl who isn't a complete basket case? People wonder why I'm kind of a loner, sure I mee and talk to alot of people, but most of them don't know me, I'm just 'that guy with the jacket' or I'm 'that guy with all the stories' In truth I actually like maybe 10% of the people I come into contact with. The rest of the people I talk to when I'm out are just meatbags, who haven't given me a reason to desire to see them stop living.
Yeah I realize it's harsh but this is how I view the world. Until people define themselves as an individual deserving of distintion in my fucked up little worldview they're all just meatbags, faceless, shambling sacks of flesh that just meander through my day to day, not really classified as entities just sort of like robots. they go through the motions of whatever it is they do and not really of any concern to my life. And I'm sure alot of them would likely take offense and cease even speaking to me, because they think I percieve myself to be better than them. I don't actually think I'm better than anyone. I just don't really find most people to be of any real concern to the continuation of my life as it is.
It's been 4 days since my last contact with the junkie stripper who just got out of prison, and yeah for a few days I was real fucked up about it. I'm better now....sort of. I'm still dealing with he residual effects of that experience, namely the whole 'the only people who are attracted to me are severely damaged" thing. But the Redneck blind date never happened thankfully. But I'm still dealing with lonliness issues. CHRIST! why the fuck can't I find someone who isn't completely damaged goods? I mean I know I'm not exactly the bastion of sanity and all things normal. But, is it too much to ask to find a girl who isn't a complete basket case? People wonder why I'm kind of a loner, sure I mee and talk to alot of people, but most of them don't know me, I'm just 'that guy with the jacket' or I'm 'that guy with all the stories' In truth I actually like maybe 10% of the people I come into contact with. The rest of the people I talk to when I'm out are just meatbags, who haven't given me a reason to desire to see them stop living.
Yeah I realize it's harsh but this is how I view the world. Until people define themselves as an individual deserving of distintion in my fucked up little worldview they're all just meatbags, faceless, shambling sacks of flesh that just meander through my day to day, not really classified as entities just sort of like robots. they go through the motions of whatever it is they do and not really of any concern to my life. And I'm sure alot of them would likely take offense and cease even speaking to me, because they think I percieve myself to be better than them. I don't actually think I'm better than anyone. I just don't really find most people to be of any real concern to the continuation of my life as it is.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
distinguised meatbag on friends list = good
i should be bringing some cigs from the philippines with me, i'll give you a couple of packs at the cabaret show.