I've been lucky enough to be able to again watch the people around me in relationships, observing the dynamics and the interactions. There's a big difference this time though. Over the last several months, I've been going through certain changes in my perspectives and I'm starting to be able to piece together different things about these people and really consciously understand things about them and what they want and think they deserve, and whatever else.
I see people throwing themselves at each other and doing their absolute best to burn themselves out while at the same time they seem to be the happiest I've seen anyone in a while. Another couple has a more adult dynamic of good times and bad, and drama, the highs and the lows. I've seen other people scrape themselves out of despair and they are now in relationships that well... I envy. I see people making a tenth or twelfth attempt with their partner to make it work.
What makes someone worth investing time into? What makes someone desirable? I see people throw themselves into relationships that seem unfulfilling. One partner invests time and emotion while the other seems aloof and distant. Is the frustration worth it? Is the uncertainty worth it?
I remember what it's like to really be in love. Only once in the last several years have I ever hit that point where I could have honestly said that I would have done anything in my power to make that person happy. I've been close to that feeling with other people, and I thank them for that feeling, because I probably still love them very much.
My real concern and question is this: What makes a relationship worth pursuing? What is the deal sealer or breaker? Are we just afraid to be alone or are we genuinely making an attempt to become part of something more than ourselves?
It's been so long since I've felt anything resembling that sort of completion that I can't remember if I ever have felt it at all. I'm doing alright on my own, and I can survive, but the longer I go without this sensation of belonging, the less and less I believe I'll ever find it.
Just some thoughts from today.
I love you all.
-Wm.
I see people throwing themselves at each other and doing their absolute best to burn themselves out while at the same time they seem to be the happiest I've seen anyone in a while. Another couple has a more adult dynamic of good times and bad, and drama, the highs and the lows. I've seen other people scrape themselves out of despair and they are now in relationships that well... I envy. I see people making a tenth or twelfth attempt with their partner to make it work.
What makes someone worth investing time into? What makes someone desirable? I see people throw themselves into relationships that seem unfulfilling. One partner invests time and emotion while the other seems aloof and distant. Is the frustration worth it? Is the uncertainty worth it?
I remember what it's like to really be in love. Only once in the last several years have I ever hit that point where I could have honestly said that I would have done anything in my power to make that person happy. I've been close to that feeling with other people, and I thank them for that feeling, because I probably still love them very much.
My real concern and question is this: What makes a relationship worth pursuing? What is the deal sealer or breaker? Are we just afraid to be alone or are we genuinely making an attempt to become part of something more than ourselves?
It's been so long since I've felt anything resembling that sort of completion that I can't remember if I ever have felt it at all. I'm doing alright on my own, and I can survive, but the longer I go without this sensation of belonging, the less and less I believe I'll ever find it.
Just some thoughts from today.
I love you all.
-Wm.