projectnova

So. I reactivated my account... woot.

I'm going to do a quick rundown of recent stuff...

Emotional shit from the break up still fucks with me, but i think i'm doing better... or at least starting to...

i made a list... of my capabilities, and my constants.



The following is a list of reasons why i might be in some way desirable...

i am intelligent.
i am creative.
i am imaginative.
i am artistic.
i am articulate.
i am talented.
i am aware.
i am strong.
i am unafraid.
i am attractive.
i am beautiful.
i am resourceful.
i am driven.
i am progressive.
i am experimental.
i am alive.
i am stable.
i am secure.

i can draw.
i can paint.
i can sing.
i can dance.
i can write.
i can compose.
i can design.
i can build.
i can construct.
i can cook.
i can inspire.
i can desire.
i can fight.
i can perform.
i can act.
i can love.
i can hate.

i am a foundation, a concept, an idea. i am the rock on which the waves of the world will break. Forever crashing down. Forever adapting. Forever challenging. But i will remain. I will endure.


Now, why the fuck cant i find a date?


Today i FINALLY registered for my Spring Classes...

Menswear Design 02
Menswear Construction 03 (02 and 03 are the same class apparently)
Graphic Design for Fashion
French 01

woot.

I already speak a little bit of French, so i shouldnt have any issues... and it goes with my NewYears Goals. and my roommate speaks itailian. and everyone in the bay area speaks spanish. i'm SET.

I'm trying really hard to be the bext i can be... but honestly, i'm terribly lonely and terribly alone...

New Years Resolutions and Goals:

1. Learn Italian, French, and Spanish.
2. Start bass and violin lessons.
3. Begin writing music again.
4. Make More Clothes.
5. Balance Personal Budget.
6. Get a gym membership.
7. Eat healthier.
8. Dont give my heart away so easily.
9. Make more movies.
10. Learn to Cook.


Regarding Romance.

Tonight i got into a discussion on going out and having fun and being young. and my ethics were put into question. why dont i party? why dont i drink? why dont i go out and get fucked up and act all crazy?

i'm not big into the 'party' atmosphere, as most of my close friends know. i'm much more into small intimate meetings, getting to know people, finding out all their quirks and merits. and if i'm interested in someone, i'm much more into actually getting to know them one on one. and at least TRYING to be romantic with them, trying to 'woo' them. i dont feel the need to show off or be over the top, be larger than life, be someone i'm not.

i just want to get to know someone and let them get to know me. maybe that's been my mistake. when someone has wanted to know the real me, i held back until it was too late. and when i didnt hold back, that person wasnt interested in the first place (i'm regarding two different relationships, mind you).

so. i'm a fucking sucker. and i'm a fucking chump. and i dont drink or smoke or get fucked up. because i refuse to let my integrity slip even the slightest. Character is the most important aspect you can hold about yourself. and i plan to hold mine as high as possible.

i believe in romance. i believe in falling in love with someone and it being fucking forever. i believe in giving up a piece of myself to that person so that i'll never be alone (i dont have a fear of loneliness, i just always feel out of place).

i guess that's the best way to put it. i am so fucking out of place with everyone else i know. i am not like you. i am not like anyone.

i am William Brandon Masterson, i am William Fairaday.