Self Improvement is Masturbation. Now, Self Destruction...
i sit around and notice certain things about how our socitey works sometimes, and i dunno, maybe under certain instances and situations, i kinda snap out of it and i really notice some sort of underlying THING.
all of my life, i've always read about or heard stories about girls with eating disorders, or with self esteem issues, due to the media that they are pumped on a fucking CONSTANT basis. i dont think there has ever been that much of an awareness that guys go through alot of the same things.
tonight, while watching a new program on FX, the commercials were rolling and i caught myself thinking, 'damn, i wish my eyebrows looked like that', and i realized that i catch myself comparing my own appearance to almost everything that i see. i sometimes snap out of the standard american mindset and realized that i dont want to be a 'unique snowflake', just like everyone else.
i've always been 'different' i guess. always with the having to dress and look different, right up until i moved to San Francisco, and then i catch myself trying to look like certain styles i see on the street everyday. now, seriously, i dont have the finance to make any real change, and honestly, i dont really want to. i'm sick of looking at fashion as some sort of core value that i should hold onto with dear life. like, if i dont look a certain way, then i wont get the job, or get the girl, or get the grade. fuck that.
i told someone today that i usually morph into some trend, get bored and then keep what i like, and drop the rest. i guess that is a strength. i admire the ads. i admire the threads. i admire the art and the image that all of the market force feeds us. at the same time, i get fucking sick of it.
from here on out, i'll cut my own hair, i'll make my own clothes, i will define what i am by what i do and how i do it. i am not a unique snowflake...
i sit around and notice certain things about how our socitey works sometimes, and i dunno, maybe under certain instances and situations, i kinda snap out of it and i really notice some sort of underlying THING.
all of my life, i've always read about or heard stories about girls with eating disorders, or with self esteem issues, due to the media that they are pumped on a fucking CONSTANT basis. i dont think there has ever been that much of an awareness that guys go through alot of the same things.
tonight, while watching a new program on FX, the commercials were rolling and i caught myself thinking, 'damn, i wish my eyebrows looked like that', and i realized that i catch myself comparing my own appearance to almost everything that i see. i sometimes snap out of the standard american mindset and realized that i dont want to be a 'unique snowflake', just like everyone else.
i've always been 'different' i guess. always with the having to dress and look different, right up until i moved to San Francisco, and then i catch myself trying to look like certain styles i see on the street everyday. now, seriously, i dont have the finance to make any real change, and honestly, i dont really want to. i'm sick of looking at fashion as some sort of core value that i should hold onto with dear life. like, if i dont look a certain way, then i wont get the job, or get the girl, or get the grade. fuck that.
i told someone today that i usually morph into some trend, get bored and then keep what i like, and drop the rest. i guess that is a strength. i admire the ads. i admire the threads. i admire the art and the image that all of the market force feeds us. at the same time, i get fucking sick of it.
from here on out, i'll cut my own hair, i'll make my own clothes, i will define what i am by what i do and how i do it. i am not a unique snowflake...
Don't worry about my party, we seem to have had our share of missed events on both sides...I still feel shitty about not making it to your Nightmare Before Xmas thingie!
I'm sad I didn't get to hang with you before I left but I'm sure we will see each other again at some point. Thanks for being so rad