EDIT (6:35a Fri)
So I actually got to sleep pretty much uninterrupted for 8 hours... so maybe today will be a good day???
So I actually got to sleep pretty much uninterrupted for 8 hours... so maybe today will be a good day???
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
So I thought today might be better than yesterday but I was wrong. i had my nervous breakdown this afternoon at work right before a very important conference call. Shitty!!!!
I got a call from my doctors office this afternoon. "Hello Stephane I was calling because we need to reschedule your appointment. The dr has to squeeze in a surgery tomorrow and we are moving all her afternoon appointments. The first available appoint will be March 1st."
Um...... does anyone else find it weird and frightening that they want me to continue bleeding like this for another almost 4 weeks before anyone will even look at me!?!?!?!
So I had a panic attack. Called my girl Laura. She calmed me down, the I called Jas and got all worked up again. I seriously am having a full on freak out by this point. So I calm down enough to call my regular doctor. Here is the catch. My regular dr is a general practice dr as well as an OB. The catch... he is a he. I can't handle associating pain or doctors surrounding my crotch who are male. I have an absolute freak out because I have been raped several times and can't deal with men and pain in my vagina. So.... he is the one who referred me to my new OB who until this point, I have been in love with. I can get in to see him next week. I ask the nurse if there is anything I can get to take the edge off before my appointment. She talked to the dr and he said of course. And he is not planning on doing anything to me, unless I feel ok with it. So I am glad I will actually get to talk to a doctor before March. However, I am worried about seeing a man and not being able to allow him to do anything to help me. I am just praying to all the powers that be that something miraculous happens and either the bleeding stops on its own, or I get in sooner to see my regular OB.
So all this takes place right before this conference call. I tried to pull myself together but I sounded aweful and I had to go back into my office to take the call and am sitting there with a totally swollen and puffy face in front of the whole staff and our guest doctor. Lovely huh?
So now, I am thinking some Cold Stone Chocolate PB ice cream along with some alcohol might be in store for my immediate future. I hate self medicating, but since my therapist isn't in town, I can't deal with it any other way. Could be worse, I could go back to using, get high and forget it all.... Or not. If I bring it up again, slap me please. NA meeting, here I come...
I got a call from my doctors office this afternoon. "Hello Stephane I was calling because we need to reschedule your appointment. The dr has to squeeze in a surgery tomorrow and we are moving all her afternoon appointments. The first available appoint will be March 1st."
Um...... does anyone else find it weird and frightening that they want me to continue bleeding like this for another almost 4 weeks before anyone will even look at me!?!?!?!
So I had a panic attack. Called my girl Laura. She calmed me down, the I called Jas and got all worked up again. I seriously am having a full on freak out by this point. So I calm down enough to call my regular doctor. Here is the catch. My regular dr is a general practice dr as well as an OB. The catch... he is a he. I can't handle associating pain or doctors surrounding my crotch who are male. I have an absolute freak out because I have been raped several times and can't deal with men and pain in my vagina. So.... he is the one who referred me to my new OB who until this point, I have been in love with. I can get in to see him next week. I ask the nurse if there is anything I can get to take the edge off before my appointment. She talked to the dr and he said of course. And he is not planning on doing anything to me, unless I feel ok with it. So I am glad I will actually get to talk to a doctor before March. However, I am worried about seeing a man and not being able to allow him to do anything to help me. I am just praying to all the powers that be that something miraculous happens and either the bleeding stops on its own, or I get in sooner to see my regular OB.
So all this takes place right before this conference call. I tried to pull myself together but I sounded aweful and I had to go back into my office to take the call and am sitting there with a totally swollen and puffy face in front of the whole staff and our guest doctor. Lovely huh?
So now, I am thinking some Cold Stone Chocolate PB ice cream along with some alcohol might be in store for my immediate future. I hate self medicating, but since my therapist isn't in town, I can't deal with it any other way. Could be worse, I could go back to using, get high and forget it all.... Or not. If I bring it up again, slap me please. NA meeting, here I come...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
you fucking rock yourself miss!