awww crap...so I was turned down for the library job...although I have the background, it's probably hard competition and when you're the last one interviewed...errmmm 
I don't know. I'm getting really depressed. I haven't felt this sad in a long time. I feel like crying, but I don't have anyone's shoulder to cry on. I'm only lucky that my friend is cool with me staying with her as long as it takes.
But I'm feeling really crappy. I haven't gone down this far in a long time. And last time I actually contemplated suicide. I just have to reorginize my mind.
I need to find a Zen temple in town where I can just go sit and meditate.
I don't know. I'm getting really depressed. I haven't felt this sad in a long time. I feel like crying, but I don't have anyone's shoulder to cry on. I'm only lucky that my friend is cool with me staying with her as long as it takes.
But I'm feeling really crappy. I haven't gone down this far in a long time. And last time I actually contemplated suicide. I just have to reorginize my mind.
I need to find a Zen temple in town where I can just go sit and meditate.
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it's gets harder as you get older because everyone wonders why you don't already have friends? why aren't you settled down? why aren't you in your own damn country making babies and living in suburbia....
also... I do already have friends.. and they live scattered across the planet and I am sad we are not together and making more friends I'm just going to leave makes me sad too. So sometimes I try NOT to make friends to save the pain of goodbye... but then I end up making friends anyway...
sigh...
good luck with the new city thing....