prettymassacre

So my fourth was good and lame all in one. More good tho. I went and say Michelle, one of my friends from school that I haven't seen in like three weeks. That was good. I'm suppose to see some friends later but I have a feeling it wont happen again and that will be a disappointment but I'll be use to it by now. Then a friend stopped by so I could give him his inhaler. I gave him shit for ditching me even tho it wasnt a plan to see him. I went over to one of best friends after that and we went to DQ and just hung out watching tv most of the day. Then her friend took us to watch fireworks and then brought us home. I think we scared the guy haha and after that three more friends stopped over and we just hung around and joked till 3 am. It was good seeing Brit. The past couple weeks for us both have been shitty and that sucks. It seems like person after person is letting us down. Or maybe we're letting them down and it just seems like it's them....I dont know. But I really hate being ignored. It hurts. I hate it. I hate making people mad but I think I good at it without trying. I hate when I care more about someone then they do about me and I hate not being able to tell someone how I feel or what I'm feeling cause I dont know how or I dont want them to see me differently. I want to apologize to everyone thats had to listen to me bitch or that I pissed off or had to deal with it. I'm sorry. It will probably happen again cause I cant change over night but I'm sick of always hating myself. Things that go wrong whether it was me or not I tend to blame on myself. I'm quick to do that but I'm sick of it. Yes I fuck up and make mistakes but I can't be mad at the world for the rest of my life. I have to let go when I can. I have to stop pushing people away that just wants to help cause I'm hurting myself more by doing that. *deep breath* I hope the rest of my day goes good but only time will tell

*B