SIDE EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL
1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle.
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.
2. Symptom: Warm and humid feet.
Cause: You pissed your pants.
Cure: Dry yourself at nearest restroom.
3. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
4. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
5. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
6. Symptom: You see multiple reflections of your face.
Cause: You're trying to puke in the toilet.
Cure: Stick your finger in your mouth.
7. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself.
8. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
9. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
10. Symptom: A huge light is blinding you.
Cause: You woke up in someone's lawn.
Cure: Coffee and a long nap.
What is your most interesting side effect? Mine start drinking in one state, then waking up in another.
1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle.
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.
2. Symptom: Warm and humid feet.
Cause: You pissed your pants.
Cure: Dry yourself at nearest restroom.
3. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
4. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.
5. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.
6. Symptom: You see multiple reflections of your face.
Cause: You're trying to puke in the toilet.
Cure: Stick your finger in your mouth.
7. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself.
8. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.
9. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
10. Symptom: A huge light is blinding you.
Cause: You woke up in someone's lawn.
Cure: Coffee and a long nap.
What is your most interesting side effect? Mine start drinking in one state, then waking up in another.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
fraggle:
oh, and "the end of the story" is pretty hard to find (at least it was for me...) you have to order it on the web... at alibris.com or amazon or something like that ....
jasechase:
Hey