Thursday Jan 16, 2003

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PHRASES I REPEAT ALMOST EVERY DAY

While driving...

Nice car. Did it come with a turn signal?
Two lanes, two speeds.
Slow traffic keep right.
Eeeeek!
...Why?
Oh, sure. Hurry up to get in front of me and go slow.

While at work...

*in a calm, spooky, low voice* Yeees?
*in a calm, spooky, low voice* Yeees.
*in a calm, spooky, low voice* I'll be right there.
No problem.
You're not stupid.
I'll take a look at it, tonight, some time.
Have you tried turning it off and on?
I intimidated it.
Do I have to stab you with my scissors? Don't make me.
I don't know.

In general...

Key gear!
Damn, I drink too much.
Son of a...
Life is pain.
*vicious grin* Bring the pain.
Well shave my ass and call me "Baldy"!!
Doh!
Squee!
I do believe, it's time to open up a can of woop ass!
I need new friends. Any volunteers?
Do I have to kill you?
Sweet merciful jesus!
Wijiwig?
We be biiiiiig ballen!
*asked to look at computer problem* *sigh* Okay.
*offered pipe* No thanks.
Do I have to take you to the can factory? Cans full of woop ass!
Ah, The Liquid Mistress.
Hey! All you naked super models get out of my bed!...
whatever
Okay that last one I made up.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
miffy:
they ARE blueberry. but they are moist all the way through, even the stump of the muffin!

When I'm driving, I call all cars Mr. _____ whatever type of car they are. or "gramma/grampa jones" if they are slow.

"don't even think about it, mr honda!"
melissa2:
Baldy.........but you got a lot of hair thats not on your ass....

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