prettyawful

Today has been fucking weird.

Woke up and the ass crack of dawn to let dog out. Dog ate as many flowers she could find and aparently one bee, or half of one... I couldn't really tell from the vomit I was cleaning up at 6:30 am from my wool rug and the corners of her cage.

Then I was walking along and saw this dude, super hot. Got home and went to type in a web address in my browser and ended up typing .... "www.sex " .... before I caught myself. I'm so happy that was a moment alone. It could have put me on the list for shit giving for all of time.

And theeen. I was just friended by a hopeful who looks like she could be seven years old, she barely speaks english and I'm thinking she is part of a crack head sex slave op.

_ I could be wrong.

But that's not often.

Now I have to wait for my mother to come pick me up with my pup to drive us out a mini family reunion. I'll promptly get drunk with my favorite boys in the world Dave and Don. My thug brothers from other mothers.

This will make it worth the painful car ride to suburban hell. I think I go there a totally of three times a years. Christmas, Thanksgiving and one occasion like this I can not avoid or talk myself out of feeling guilty for not going.

Puuuuh*Eace OUT! Bitches

If I don't make it back alive, just know that I loved you....
and tell my mom it wasn't the dog who farted in the car, it was me.