My Baby does the Hanky Panky!!!!
Yeah yeah so_ I talked to the boy today! Then I cried. Haha!
This is what happened:
Last year I was in an abusive absolutely ridiculous relationship with a man who was way too old for me and might I add way too short... This man told me everything I ever wanted to hear, spent all his time with me, told me I was beautiful and gave me so much love... then took it all away once I asked about commitment. The "Are you my boyfriend" question. He kept using me, sleeping at my house, eating all my food, using up my belongings but he started treating me very badly. Yelling at me in public, lashing out and cursing, Telling me I was fat, spoiled, a bitch when I did let him use my things or to get out my house. It was bad. He was always there and I could not get him to leave. He was open about sleeping with other women and stopped sleeping with me. I'm ashamed this went on forever but it's over now and I'm much happier. In EVERY WAY of my life ever!
Shortly after i cut things off forever I went on two dates. They sucked. I felt really scared still. I was shunken into my shell hardcore. One week I decided to say fuck it and started going to parties with this boy from my school who always hit on me. We had mutual friends so they were there and I got to meeting some new people and that is when I met my baby. I knew about him from my friend Martha. He is her best friend kinda. And she was the only friend I had who liked to party and joke like me. So we hung out a lot. She invited Andy over one night without my knowing and BAM. I loved him right away. We've been dating since.
The bad thing is I have so many scars that come out from the last relationship and in our sexy time life. So we talked about it on the phone and I cried cause I thought he was doing something wrong but it was really me... I barfed it out and he told me that he would be there for me no matter what and we can work it out, I need to give it time and things will get better... wow. Weird.
No one ever has offered to help me with anything like that before. I had to send myself away to boarding school just so I had some sort of stability growing up. It's so hard. sometimes but I push myself hard and have learned to do it all myself, I've been really successful in doing so too. But to know he wants to help me and I'm ok with that, well it's kind of earth scattering. In a good way. I like boys. I like him. I love him . Weird, cause sometimes I think it feels so hard but it's actually so easy. Ha ha ha hahahaha cool!
Yeah yeah so_ I talked to the boy today! Then I cried. Haha!
This is what happened:
Last year I was in an abusive absolutely ridiculous relationship with a man who was way too old for me and might I add way too short... This man told me everything I ever wanted to hear, spent all his time with me, told me I was beautiful and gave me so much love... then took it all away once I asked about commitment. The "Are you my boyfriend" question. He kept using me, sleeping at my house, eating all my food, using up my belongings but he started treating me very badly. Yelling at me in public, lashing out and cursing, Telling me I was fat, spoiled, a bitch when I did let him use my things or to get out my house. It was bad. He was always there and I could not get him to leave. He was open about sleeping with other women and stopped sleeping with me. I'm ashamed this went on forever but it's over now and I'm much happier. In EVERY WAY of my life ever!
Shortly after i cut things off forever I went on two dates. They sucked. I felt really scared still. I was shunken into my shell hardcore. One week I decided to say fuck it and started going to parties with this boy from my school who always hit on me. We had mutual friends so they were there and I got to meeting some new people and that is when I met my baby. I knew about him from my friend Martha. He is her best friend kinda. And she was the only friend I had who liked to party and joke like me. So we hung out a lot. She invited Andy over one night without my knowing and BAM. I loved him right away. We've been dating since.
The bad thing is I have so many scars that come out from the last relationship and in our sexy time life. So we talked about it on the phone and I cried cause I thought he was doing something wrong but it was really me... I barfed it out and he told me that he would be there for me no matter what and we can work it out, I need to give it time and things will get better... wow. Weird.
No one ever has offered to help me with anything like that before. I had to send myself away to boarding school just so I had some sort of stability growing up. It's so hard. sometimes but I push myself hard and have learned to do it all myself, I've been really successful in doing so too. But to know he wants to help me and I'm ok with that, well it's kind of earth scattering. In a good way. I like boys. I like him. I love him . Weird, cause sometimes I think it feels so hard but it's actually so easy. Ha ha ha hahahaha cool!
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bad things happen, but you cant expect everyone is out to hurt you.
what a happy blog