OH MI GAWD! Fuck! I am so Co-Dependent it's gross and possibly taking down others with me. Yucky yuck yuck!
I don't know how to explain so I will just tell you what is in my head.... OK SO
"I miss Andy, I don't want to do anything about Andy, I don't want to get too excited about anything without Andy... Andy Andy Andy.... laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame! What fuck am I doing sulking around in my apartment!? It's pretty out and yeah I have no one to hang out with but that momentary. I have to get my feet back under me first. Maybe you should call Martha, or LIz... but I don't want them to feel bad for me. That's lame and I don't want them to doubt me and us, him and I. But whatever!"
So I called but one was sick and the other didn't pick up...
"Shit! Why the hell don't I have any friends like Andy does? I'm a cool person, people like me, I have lots of friends just none I care to hangout with or have fun with on a personal level.... ummm... there are lots of things wrong with this realization. Why do I do that? Why don't I hangout with people who I can relate to? They intimidate me, I feel big and awkward around most of them even tho they all adore me. I am big and awkward in my head. Maybe I need a drink, or two. Then I wont be awkward. You know I'm just gunna say fuck it and hangout with people. I wasn't always this way. It was that asshole I dated but this awesome one who fucked me up... time to move on, move back into my skin. I like my skin, my skin is nice and pretty and I want to wear it forever because I'm awesome and I like me and I am really proud of myself! I got into YALE! Wtf! I got into Yale and I haven't thought about it yet because I have been so stupid. hahaha"
So yeah, I'm crazy... this is what's going through my head.
I don't want to sit at home and be afraid to be myself again. I think this break from Andy might do me good. Cuz maybe now I can purge all the nasty shit from the last relationship I was all over the floor in a big chunky pile and feel so much better about myself and life in general before he gets back. I think that would be good. Cuz I want him to last as long as forever so I have to take care of myself before he can... forever. Hahaha! I'm crazy.
I don't know how to explain so I will just tell you what is in my head.... OK SO
"I miss Andy, I don't want to do anything about Andy, I don't want to get too excited about anything without Andy... Andy Andy Andy.... laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame! What fuck am I doing sulking around in my apartment!? It's pretty out and yeah I have no one to hang out with but that momentary. I have to get my feet back under me first. Maybe you should call Martha, or LIz... but I don't want them to feel bad for me. That's lame and I don't want them to doubt me and us, him and I. But whatever!"
So I called but one was sick and the other didn't pick up...
"Shit! Why the hell don't I have any friends like Andy does? I'm a cool person, people like me, I have lots of friends just none I care to hangout with or have fun with on a personal level.... ummm... there are lots of things wrong with this realization. Why do I do that? Why don't I hangout with people who I can relate to? They intimidate me, I feel big and awkward around most of them even tho they all adore me. I am big and awkward in my head. Maybe I need a drink, or two. Then I wont be awkward. You know I'm just gunna say fuck it and hangout with people. I wasn't always this way. It was that asshole I dated but this awesome one who fucked me up... time to move on, move back into my skin. I like my skin, my skin is nice and pretty and I want to wear it forever because I'm awesome and I like me and I am really proud of myself! I got into YALE! Wtf! I got into Yale and I haven't thought about it yet because I have been so stupid. hahaha"
So yeah, I'm crazy... this is what's going through my head.
I don't want to sit at home and be afraid to be myself again. I think this break from Andy might do me good. Cuz maybe now I can purge all the nasty shit from the last relationship I was all over the floor in a big chunky pile and feel so much better about myself and life in general before he gets back. I think that would be good. Cuz I want him to last as long as forever so I have to take care of myself before he can... forever. Hahaha! I'm crazy.
brittymon:
Thankyou for the add 
visara:
Nah, not crazy. Just another human being with feelings. Don't deny them.