Saturday Dec 29, 2007

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I. need. my. own. place. I'm tired of sharing a house with my grandparents, my two brothers and my mom. I simply cannot take it anymore. Jesus Christ. Cassy, you are 21 years old, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!! I can't keep using the excuse that I am a single mom. I have been a single mom for 4 years living under my grandparents roof...That is plenty of time to get my own place and support myself. I mean, it's not like I'm even waitressing anymore. That wasn't even that bad of a job. Now I'm working in car sales making decent money. Not having child support kinda sucks, but I'm sure there have been hundreds before me who have been in my situation and have done well for themselves. The walls in this house are so thin, and they seem to be getting thinner every day. I not only have my own burdens, but I have to share those of my alcoholic mother. Not to mention my grandparents prolly aren't too thrilled about us living with them in what was supposed to be their retirement home. I feel like a constant burden, but I also feel like I'm trapped. My mom lost her license a year ago cause she got into a wreck involving alcohol. She has been in and out of jail and house arrest. Now I have to haul my son with me at 6:00 in the morning to take her to work, come home, get ready so I can go to work myself, get my son ready for daycare, drop him off at day care, go to work and then skip my lunch every day so I can pick up my mom and son and take them back home then back to work I go. Did I mention that I am the only person in a house of 7 that drives? Yeah. It makes me feel a little obligated to stay here and not get my own place. There. I just answered my own question. That is why I don't move out. God, is it just me, or does my life sound more and more like a Lifetime movie every fucking day? All I wanted tonight was to go out and sing some fucking karaoke. Is that asking too much? apparently. My son is far too big of a burden on this house for me to take one night out. I just want to sing karaoke. DAMN IT!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!! mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
thisdistance:
aw i'm sorry pretty lady!
come to steub. i need a roomie lol

just think it's a new year, new beginning. just think positive smile n positive things WILL happen
aaamy:
You're 21 and you should be incredibly proud to be where you are in life, despite your family set-backs. I'm sure you have it as together as it can be right now, so cut yourself a little slack, eh? smile Being a Mom is an amazingly hard and trying job and you're pulling it off all by yourself, not to mention having to somewhat "mother" your own mother... kudos to you. Haha, my family actually had the same situation 'cos when my Mom got out she had her license revoked for a year, so my brother (who had just recently acquired his own) had to drive both me, my Mom, AND my Nana around. Chauffeuring does get annoying (especially when you're spending all your free time shuttling them around) and I hope your family knows how fortunate they are to have you there to help out for now. We all feel some sort of obligation to family, and it's hard to even think about doing something that might inconvenience them, but you won't be in that house forever and she'll have to get used to that one way or another. Maybe start tucking away some cash, whatever you can afford, and eventually it'll be enough to get you and the little one started out on your own. Just take your time, and think about how far you've come biggrin Sometimes we have to endure the shit a little longer than we'd like, but it's all for a good cause. Your son is gonna be so proud of you smile

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