powergirl5000

Why is that? There are some people in my life that have tore me down, cheated me, hurt me, went behind my back and all around fucked me over. Why do I feel I still need those people in my life? I just don't get myself sometimes. I don't understand how someone I was so close to throw me out of their life for no good reason...And on top of it, do it with such bitterness and hate. One second we are good friends, on top of the world....next thing you know, I'm kicked to the curb. Waste. Disposable. Maybe I over estimate my role in people's lives... I feel like gift wrap. Look at me, use me for what I am, maybe fold me up and stuff me in the junk drawer, keep me around in case you could use me again...but in the end you don't.... then throw me out or burn me. But I insist on coming back and asking, "why?" I reason, I choke back the tears...over and over I struggle with the idea that the person has no use for me...Nothing I say or do or try to prove moves that person. That person insults me....Why can't I say, "FUCK YOU!" and move on? Why do I insist on torturing myself? Why can't I forget you? Maybe I am spineless. Now I feel parasitic. Damn it Cassy, let it go...just let it go.....