pottsie

i very good girl-friend i have had a crush on for awhile and had a brief affair with many many years ago is getting MARRIED...

fuckin hell

i guess that stage in my life has finally crept up on me where my close friends start getting married and soon the number of single people will gradually dimish to a hard drinking bitter group toasting their free but dwindling sexuality in the back table of yet another marriage marquee.

and not only that, i have had a semi serious crush on this girl for awhile in that distant, could have but didn't too long ago, now completly out of reach and so lovely and wonderful and witty as a friend but my god the things i'd like to do, and the bad things i think sometimes..... and i think she's aware of it. there's always been a lingering kind of sadness about our friendl flirting and platonic hugs, but marriage is so final. no more fantasies there.

been a fucking crazy week at work. not much time for anything else really...

going to see SPEEDY muthafuckin J on saturday night. can't wait. going to get properly messed up with an awesome group of very close friends including my girl. and there is nothing better than going clubbing with my girl. we are the gruesome twosome, up for anything and mischievous and all hell. if anyone is in sydney and wants to see how good techno can be, or is interested in music at all, you've simply got to see speedy j, he is the king.

g'night all