possession09

so i havent written in forever. im in one of those holes again...damnit.
thats life isnt it? you start sailing smoothly along, enjoying the view, the weather..the taste of peace.
and then....

there is always that and then in my life. it is not something that comes to me purposely..rather it seems that the further i try to escape the and thens, the more they bite me in my ass.
so im over it. come on in, i scream. run havoc on my life...slap me around a little...all pain goes away.

i am in a constant state of unrest right now....i want this time period in my life to be over with. i want to move away from here..start over, meet new people...instead, i am stuck. stuck for another sememster, stuck for another day at work.
up down up down....

where am i going? what am i doing? why am i seemingly destined to be alone in my adventures.
i dont get any of it.
its been one of those weeks, where i look at my accomplishments and my future goals and say to myself
why am doing this...why am i busting my ass??

hopefully....this week will get better.