poppystrike

If confusion were a vast expanse of infinite cloud then I would say that today I have felt very confused. I have also felt an overwhelming sense of fear for absoutely no reason. I feel like a mechanical being, going through the motions but unable to cry. I crouched in the shower like a fox hiding from a ravenous dog, saliva dripping and teeth sheared. The water fell down my back and if I concentrated hard enough I saw the tears cover my body.

Last night on the same hemisphere. I feel like i'm trapped in a sand timer and there are no more grains left for me to climb over. I'm falling. I'm sinking. Have I handled this right? I don't have any choices as of tomorrow. It is over, but all epics have a sequel.

"A hundred feet above the landing
There's a girl gliding down
She's floating toward me now
Her sleeves are all stretching out
And the jet is following behind."

- - - Makes me sick.

I don't know where I am anymore. The dreams of bohemia are turning my life into a nightmare.

Who would want a shattered heart? What use is it if blood can't flow through it without dispersing on to the floor? Someone loves my brokenness and that makes me smile. Like a big dopey grin that you don't want anyone to see because you look such a fool. I am very scared though. People are cunts to borrow a phrase. I'm scared of being hurt, but I am more scared of hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Who deserves adoration. And we all know that i'm an asshole.

Somebody stop me before I crash this automobile xXx

PS. Kristoph is my bestest friend. He rules. Go and tell him.