This is one of those times when I need assurance. Tell me that the monsters under my bed really are just my imagination, because without your confirmation they just get bigger and scarier. It's easier to be strong, when you tell me too. Patience feels like torture. You may need space and I'm trying so hard. But I need things too. I need to know that my insecurities and fears are irrational. Telling myself only goes so far. I want you so badly and when there's silence between us I feel so unwanted.
I know that I have to try harder. But we have to try together too.
Today was long, not really bad, just long. A Test, school, and even though we got out early I had to stay to watch cow videos and play with my school cat, then I played with Ezra, the dog I want to adopt once this semester is finally over. Then i had my riding lessons on Sam and Sutter. They were fun but I'm so exhausted now and all I want is someone to go to at the end of the day. I shouldn't be afraid of going to you, but I'm so scared I'll be turned away.
I need to study for another test tomorrow, but i know that I won't really. I'm too tired and too caught up in myself.
They keep telling us at school that the light in the tunnel isn't a train. But so much in my life does feel like a train, and I feel like I'm tied to the tracks. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten myself loose, but it doesn't seem like's very long before I feel like the knots tighten down.
Half halt and soften. I'm trying to breath and remember that things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. I'm trying to be patient. It's a hard thing.
Todays horoscope:
Your domestic affairs and emotional relationships are taking precedence right now, Leo, and this will work well in your romantic affairs. You are experiencing a deepening of feelings and emotional needs when it comes to love, and today you will receive some clarity on how to work things to your benefit. If you have been avoiding problems or conflict in your romantic pursuits, today you will understand well how to handle them without too much emotional disruption. You will make the right moves today when it comes to love, and by the day's end, you will experience the sense of belonging that you have been searching for.
Me: clarity? belonging? no. not today.
I know that I have to try harder. But we have to try together too.
Today was long, not really bad, just long. A Test, school, and even though we got out early I had to stay to watch cow videos and play with my school cat, then I played with Ezra, the dog I want to adopt once this semester is finally over. Then i had my riding lessons on Sam and Sutter. They were fun but I'm so exhausted now and all I want is someone to go to at the end of the day. I shouldn't be afraid of going to you, but I'm so scared I'll be turned away.
I need to study for another test tomorrow, but i know that I won't really. I'm too tired and too caught up in myself.
They keep telling us at school that the light in the tunnel isn't a train. But so much in my life does feel like a train, and I feel like I'm tied to the tracks. Sometimes I feel like I've gotten myself loose, but it doesn't seem like's very long before I feel like the knots tighten down.
Half halt and soften. I'm trying to breath and remember that things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. I'm trying to be patient. It's a hard thing.
Todays horoscope:
Your domestic affairs and emotional relationships are taking precedence right now, Leo, and this will work well in your romantic affairs. You are experiencing a deepening of feelings and emotional needs when it comes to love, and today you will receive some clarity on how to work things to your benefit. If you have been avoiding problems or conflict in your romantic pursuits, today you will understand well how to handle them without too much emotional disruption. You will make the right moves today when it comes to love, and by the day's end, you will experience the sense of belonging that you have been searching for.
Me: clarity? belonging? no. not today.