ponie

You cannot know another person until you know yourself. You cannot sort out your life with another person until you have sorted out your lives separately. I guess that was the gist of it (like the point right? sorry, inside joke.) I am holding the hope, or the delusion (I hope not), that once we have both gotten through this transition in our individual lives we can come together again and see each other in a fresh new light, and have a fresh new relationship that will be stronger and deeper than the one we had before. The first time I saw him (really the second time, but some reason, I didn't really see him that time), I knew that I wanted to be with him. It took months and a lot of introspection to get me there but I did get to be with him for nearly five absolutely wonderful adventurous years that had their ups and downs, but more ups than downs. So perhaps my first instinct was right, I do belong with him, to him. Maybe it's just going to take a little longer. Maybe I did and I no longer do, but if time passes and that turns out to be true, at least we loved, learned, grew and changed and made each other better people in the time we were together.

All the rest of the mile long blog entry that I deleted can just wait. I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for and I have to get up at 4:30 at the latest tomorrow morning to do large animal duties at school. All the rest was just general life plans, that I'm sure I'll get the urge to record again some other time.