ponie

Today was the first day of the second week of the first semester of my second year in Veterinary Medical Technology school, and I had a freaking anxiety attack over god knows what. For the the last week I've been studying nonstop anesthesia for a test that we had today, and getting behind in my other classes as a result. Today we had the test.. and it was ridiculously easy. I felt so relieved, and at the same time, slightly upset that I stressed out so much and got so worked up over it. This is my first semester with this particular Doctor as my instructor and I had no idea what to expect her tests to be like. So now I know, no more panicking right? Hah, doubtful that.

After the test I had a torrential breakdown, I think I just became overcome by all the stress, I think this has just building up over the summer semester classes and now that we're back in classes again it just has ht me hard. It doesn't even seem to be the amount of work required that's causing me so much stress, though that is part of it.School all day, tests, papers, hands on labs, its built up on me. But I feel like the hardest thing for me is that I simply feel too tired to study. I haven't been sleeping well for quite awhile and the basic OTC sleeping aids have not helped in the least. Yet when I have something I need to do such as my volunteer work and riding lessons I'm able to find the energy despite feeling tired and do it with a smile on my face.

I have no idea what my issue is. I take vitamins, good ones: Standard Process, I think I drink a fairly decent amount of water though admittedly not a lot, soda's sparingly..my standard one cup of coffee in the morning. And I eat pretty decently I guess though maybe not all the time and I'm trying to make my diet a little more consistent by bringing my lunches to school. So on to the doctors office (human one) to get an Rx to help me chill out. I'm not normally very fond of taking any kind of medicine on regular basis, I'm a slight hypochondriac to begin with, and the idea of all the side effects on your body that so many drugs can have on a long term basis tends to keep from taking anything longer than a week. I think most anti-anxiety type drugs are mostly take as needed so that should be fine. I wouldn't prescribing myself some pot to relax too if I knew where to find it.

So more interesting stuff.
I'm FINALLY going to get a new phone this week, after a year with my p.o.s. Razor thing I'm upgrading to something that can hopefully hold a charge for longer than three hours. >.<

Also I'm looking forward to my fiance coming to visit this weekend and give me some seriously needed TLC (which I will enthusiastically reciprocate) and we're going to watch a production by the PaperHand Puppet Intervention in Chapel Hill this weekend. I'm very excited. After watching a documentary on them at this past weekends Saturdays in Saxapahaw I can't wait to see them live. I'm too lazy to find the link to the page, so google away!

I'm also looking forward to a horse show in September on Clover, a horse I've been riding for lessons. I hope we're up to it! I went to a show two weekends ago on a different horse, William, and though we did well it was certainly an interesting event. I haven't done many shows so I'm stoked to just be doing them. William and I took second in Novice Huntseat Equitation and Fourth in a Novice hunter jumping class. Clover and I will just be doing an Intro Dressage test as this coming show, we're still learning to connect with each other on the flat and though we've done a little jumping together right now our flat work is more important.

So toodle doo for now!