pollythundercat

So...
Remember my 2 best friends hate each other and i was caught in the middle? Well, not anymore.

The girl decided as of last night to give up on my friendship.

I went to the Ozzy concert with her on saturday - I CHOSE to go with her. And if she was somewhat smart, she'd realize he was gonna be there as well. We were in different sectors - he was on the floor, we were on the seats on the side. As i was texting him (so i wouldnt call him in front of her - she pretty much forced me to forget he exists when I'm with her), he called me. Then he called me again. And came to the fence. And I went all the way down to meet him so he wouldnt come closer to where we were because of her.
Despite of everything I always do to spare her, nothing was taken into account and she said she felt completely disrespected by me. I never asked to be put in the middle of this - I wasn't even in Brazil when it happened. It's a lot easier to demand respect than it is to give - and she doesnt respect me at all when she says to my face that she wants to actually kill him, or she wishes from the bottom of her heart that he dies. If he dies, I die too.
After the concert she texted me saying she didn't wanna argue or talk about it, but she felt completely disrespected by me, and that she hopes I'm happy with my choices. WTF?!? What is that supposed to mean? And I'm not supposed to say anything about it either!??!?!

I'm passive. I tend to hold things inside for loooooooong periods of time, til I have the right chance to get them out. I told her everything I felt last night. She apologized, and said she'd distance herself from me. I guess it's a good thing, because I pretty much lost all respect I had for her.

I feel stepped on. She never thought of me, or took my feelings into consideration, and I did so much. I also feel like part of my heart has rotten and died.



At least I get to see Seal tonight. and cry my eyeballs out.


xox