politrix

Today I got the promotion that I've been going for over the last 20 days or so. It was somewhat bitter-sweet as my best friend at work was also one of the finalists for the position. I got it; she didn't. We had thought about and discussed the fact that only one of us could get it, but actually dealing with the reality seemed a lot more tangible and awkward than discussing it nervously over lunch.

I was firmly convinced by the end of the day though that nothing could bring me down for the rest of the day. Only when I got home and opened my door, I turned around and saw my cat coming toward me. He was hobbling. Hardly putting any pressure at all on his front right paw. I've checked him out and theres no cuts or anything. I don't know what is wrong with him and I don't like it. I realized at that moment that I definitely have a hierarchy of animals I like. There's mine, and then there's all the rest of them. I immediately thought that another cat may have jacked him for his lunch money or something, and while I'm not one of those kids who pulls wings off of flies or does sick shit to puppies, if I saw another cat fucking up my cat, it's on. Mano et Cat-O.

I'm not above punting a cat forty-four yards between any two random telephone poles in sight should it be attacking my cat and winning.

Does that make me a bad person? Discuss: