pokes

I was the shamed recipient of my 1st speeding ticket yesterday. Considering that I'd been driving aggresively for close to 8 years now and speeding practically everywhere I go, it's probably long overdue. God knows my friends believe me to be a charmed driver. Why is it that everytime I get out of debt I incur some new, unforseen expense? Why is it that after getting a speeding ticket you innevitably thank the cop? As though I were in the least bit appreciative. At least he didn't search my ride as that could have proved dangerous.
Why is it that the questions which perplex me the most are the ones to which, in the back of my mind, i suspect i already know the answers.
I watched The Corporation again today in sociology. Again I was disturbed by the subject matter. I know that the mentality that one person can't make a difference is a self-fulfilling prophecy yet that's how I truly feel. I mean i'm a member of my college's anti-war club, I attend peace rallies, legalization rallies, and all sorts of protests in general but I think that's where I adopted this outlook. Seeing who of my peers become activists has led me to believe in the futility of my efforts and the aimlessness of my generation. How does the saying go exactly? Something like: In one's youth, if he/she isn't a communist, they're heartless but if, in adulthood, one isn't a capitalist, he/she's brainless. That's how I'm starting to feel. As though the ideals for which I once stood, if only in principle, aren't so much not worth fighting for as they rather simply aren't likely to be realized. That's the true fall from innocence in my mind: the realization of one's bleak situation.