I broke up with my g/f of almost a year and a half, i know i made the right decision cause she changed and it wasnt for the better and now everythings one sided and she only thinks about herself and lost touch with idea of us and our relationship...ive been in love with her for 4 years since we first met and ive never felt a hurt like this in my entire life but what scares me is the fact that im not as upset as i thought i would be, maybe because i was justified and the steps i took but it scares me for two reasons, one maybe it hasnt hit me as hard as its supposed to yet and its gonna crush me or two...she drove me to the point where there is nothing left anymore and both are so depressing and i cant find anything to help me cope...if anyone has advice please lend a hand thanx
Justin
Justin
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Never feel that you MUST feel a certain way. Your feelings have been doing their own thing your whole life and by now you have to realize that though you can control a lot in your life, that isn't one of them. You can still love something/someone but realize that it's slowly sucking the life out of you. If it ever DOES get to that point, distancing yourself from it to relocate who YOU are is ALWAYS the best route. Couplehood to me is something that you share with someone and sure, eventually you both evolve into what's right for both of you, but if you're evolving into something you never wanted to be, keep the love but get back to who YOU are. Life's too short to cater to pleasing the rest of the world and ignoring what you're own hopes/dreams/goals/standards/convictions were about in the first place darlin.
Hopefully because of the history you both had, you can grow to be great friends. Some of my BEST friends are ex's, and we get along way better now as friends since we parted before destroying each other.
I have advice to friends about relationships that have gone sour... it's rather blunt, but that's what I'm about, it goes:
If you take a carton of milk out of the fridge, and find it's turned sour, you don't put it back in the fridge and think, well, if I just be patient and see what time brings, it may turn into good milk again. It won't. Rare that relationships repair when left to stagnate either unless there's some serious work done on them. Habits are HARD to break and if a couple has got into a habit of doing things to break the other, chance are without help, the pattern will continue and worsen. : /
You did the right thing in either ending it, or stepping back for awhile to put it into perspective to see if it's fixable later on in time after you both see how much you miss each other and are willing to work it out later.
Hugs to you in your time of confusion, but to quote a saying... "...and this too shall pass..."
Good luck dollface and I hope things balance out for you both quickly.
I hope you're all right.