poemelyric

Part 2 of my ranting...

Okay, I might seem like an asshole, but i'm really not.

Alittle background on my last ranting....

My ex was a perpetual cheat... He had 2 other girlfiends while he was seeing me. The fateful day when we "took a break", we were hanging out... just going to dinner and all of a sudden, he's making out with some other chick... right in my view. When I got severly pissed, his reaction was to say "DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU TOO?". I got even more bullshit and proceeded to tell him to fuck off in no uncertain terms.

The thing with my best friend... well... I was on E... I didn't expect to see my ex at the club (he's not much into techno but somehow he was there...) and I didn't even see him when I kissed her. It just happened. I know that's a lame excuse but it's the only one I have. It wasn't like I was making out with her... It was just a "It can mean anything" kiss. He did pull me aside later and was "What was that all about?" and I did give him a lame excuse but it wasn't even like he was interested in my answer. So he let it go.

Now, I admit that it was my stupid fault for taking him back but I admit it. I'm not the kind of person who does things to be mean. I purposely go out of my way to not be mean, especially to my friends even when a little meanness is required. But at this point in my life, I feel that niceness has gotten me nowhere fast. I can only keep putting band-aids on the wound for so long until I realize that stiches are really required. How many times can you be kicked in the teeth. I know it's totally over because he's a shitty person. All my friends love him but they don't know how he really is. Borrowing thousands of dollars and not paying me back, the lists of clothes he wants for Christmas and him giving me a knock-off walet as a gift, me being nice and putting him on my cell phone and him running up the bill (whicdhn= he is still doing... I know-shame on me for not disconnecting the fuckin thing), the constant arguing when I want to do something to help out a friend, the other women, the bad sex... It's just a huge big ball of messy.

But I hope I still don't look like an asshole...