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pmvirgin

Portland, Oregon

Member Since 2002

Followers 64 Following 74

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Thursday Jan 08, 2009

Jan 7, 2009
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All I want is to be able to be a good person and get my fair share of happiness: to be able to leave this world a little better that it was when I got here, to help other good people to achieve their dreams, and hopefully share my life with a worthwhile lady in the process.

One thing I like about Suicide girls is that women are strong and self-reliant. Women that aren't afraid to stand up, flip off the status quo, and go their own way. I want a partner, not some brain-dead piece of arm-candy. I want to legitimately connect with people - not just use them for my own gain, then dispose of them like some rancid tissue. I want to build something that works, something that lasts - not just something that looks good but is fundamentally inconsequential.

But nobody's showed me how to attract those kinds of girls. No, the only people who've tried to show me the way are the one's who've decided that the ways of the past - of the Alpha male Neanderthal clubbing an unsuspecting woman and dragging her back to his cave. So I'm forced to sift through mounds of crap for any small nuggets of Truth; to cobble myself a way to connect using the scraps of info I am granted - some way to be true to myself and have others recognize the potential that I know I have inside.

Yes, the show I was on cut out just about everything I said that would convey these thoughts - probably because they were, at least, percieved as being in conflict with everything they were trying to teach. But I'd hoped that my genuineness and good will showed through enough that people could see that you could succeed without the dishonesty and disrespect - that it was just another case of a good idea gone sour because of some faulty assumptions (in this case, that women are weak and that sex is the cornerstone of a relationship).

Clubs and bars aren't my preferred venue - it's hard to have an honest conversation with somebody when they can barely stand on their own. Frankly, I've always been more comfortable getting to know people as I go along. Unfortunately, since I'm no longer in school, I've left the portion of life that lends itself to that style. But, until I find a template that I can use, I'm stuck in a desert of possibilities with no sense of direction.

Sorry 'bout this rant, but I needed to vent. I would just hope that, on a site dedicated to showing the beauty and value in the unconventional, people would recognize that you can't always judge a book by its cover. Adolesence is hard enough to go through when your a kid, it's even harder when you never really felt like one.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
miloryan:
What up? Nice post. I feel ya. Funny thing is I saw your face on the Portland brunch thread and was like I know this guy. Where from though? Yup I did see a few episodes of the show but not all. I rooted for you being a home town guy and all. How did you end up doing there? One reason I actually watched the show was that I stumbled across this thing called the pick up podcast about a year ago in the itunes store and listened to it once in a while and was actually surprised that the guys were pretty solid. They had Mystery on there every once in a while and he seemed like a pretty descent guy. The podcast guys impressed me because they were all about being genuine and just going out with confidence to have a good time not to just go out and score. I'm not sure if that's what the gist of what they tried to teach you on the show or not...but anyway.
As far as SG's, they are the same as any other set of girls, they very in every way. It's more of a fashion/lifestyle issue than anything else that makes them different. Some of them like nice guys, some like mean guys, some like em smart some don't care. Girls are girls and if you can figure them all out you got something nobody else does.
Jan 16, 2009
devilsreject:
Bars aren't bad places to go to, they just aren't keen on finding worthy relationships. Normally when you are in a bar, you're dealing with people who are in the process of lowering their inhibitions and have the tendency to do things they normally wouldn't do.

I don't drink, i don't make a habit of going to bars. Not a big fan of most of today's pop-music being played at ear-drum shattering volumes. Bars are rather boring to me too. I will go to bars, but i would go without pretenses of meeting someone.

I met the people i dated in places i would normally go to, doing things i would normally do. By doing something you wouldn't normally do, you're kind of putting on a front that you really can't keep up. If you met someone in a bar, would you really want to continue going to that bar to keep them happy?

The current girlfriend i met doing something i would normally do. I was honest with her, i was upfront with her and have done nothing but communication openly. The thing i have realized though, is that people, both men and women, have become accustomed to what you have described. She's still getting used to being treated with respect, not being told what to do, not being cussed at and it's taking time to actually have her communicate openly. Her last relationship basically dealt with her being told that her opinion didn't matter or being yelled at for voicing it.

While i understand your intentions, that show was bad news from the beginning. I understand you were happy to be on it, but they're basically idiots pandering to what society wants to see more than actually helping anyone. The best thing that could have probably happened to you is that you were let go from it. You seem like a really nice guy and that show is going to do nothing but manipulate everything you said or did for ratings. In their eyes ratings are greater than you're desire to communicate anything.

There may be someone in your life that you're currently overlooking. A lot of people are afraid to express emotions in fear of rejection. Take time to stop and look around and make sure you aren't overlooking someone. Most importantly, do what you normally do, and you're bound to run across someone that piques your interest and their interest is as piqued as yours is.

Jan 21, 2009

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