playskoolpimp

I came home today to find our puppy covered in his own shit in his cage. My oldest calls it Dibareba. So now the dilema is how to get him out of the cage without getting his shit all over me or on the carpet and out the back door which is 20 feet away.

I tried to leviate his ass to the door, but that didn't work. So i grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and tried to hold him as far away from me as possible, and walked quickly outside.

Now the Shit demon is outside, but now I have a cage full of his awfully smelly shit to clean up. So i remove the trray under the cage that is covered in shit and piss, and tried to balance it without spilling the floating pond of ooze on me or the floor.

A garden hose and 10 minutes of gagging and heaving while spraying the slime covered tray was all it took to get that clean. The funny thing is that as the water was washing away the "poop" tiny rocks were in the tray. No wonder he has dibareba, he has been eating rocks.

I grabbed him by the color and sprayed him down best I could, which would not be the normal procedure for bathing a dog in my house, but I just cleaned my bathroom last night, and I am not going to take the shit covered beast of burden into my shiny clean bathroom, so he can cover it in shit.

Now that the shit demon and the offening pile of fecal matter is outside, I have to try to get the smell out of the house. I looked all over the house for anything to use, scented candles, etc, and about the only thing I can find would be to smoke a doobie, or smoke a cigar in the house, one of which is a NO NO.

I made it through the whole dog shit episode without a single nugget or drop on me. So then I go to change my 5 month old's diaper, and guess what i get all over my hand. That is correct, pastelike green baby shit.

If nothing else, my life is always comical.