pkybear

So things are mostly okay right now. You ever get some news and are surprised about the effect it has on you. Some one in my family passed away and I feel a little numb. Now this person is not someone I was really close too. In fact I thought she was kind of crazy. She was my uncle's second wife. They have been divorced now for some time. I guess I am thinking about my cousin Jessie, and how she no longer has a mom. That scares me a little.

My mother and I really butt heads a lot, but at least she is there for that to happen. Now here I am stressing about the mortality of my own mother. I swear to god I am all teary eyed right now and it is freaking me out. About ten years ago my mother was bit by a rattle snake and almost died, and she told me about it like after several freaking months. Which shows you how close we really are. I probably only talk to her about four times a year, birthdays and of course christmas. I guess I am feeling guilty that I don''t really talk to her much, but I have the choice to do so. Though Jessie can never talk to her mom again.

Fuck I feel so twisted in side right now.