In life there are certain situations that have no predetermined correct way to act...some of these are moments of extreme happiness and sadness...I said there was no correct way to act, but there is an incorrect way to act...which is what I always do...I do nothing...I am like a robot that is not programmed to deal with it...so I just wait until the situation returns to something that is familiar and I start functioning again...
I have been this way for as long as I can remember...who's to say the cause, but I have tons of practice at behaving this way...so not it is almost a conditioned response...I just don't seem capable of empathizing with others at extreme moments of emotion...I have seen others cry with friends even though they had no reason to be sad except that their friend was sad...my emotions just seem to shut down...like a protective response...maybe that is what it is?...who's to say...
I was told recently that this is something I shall need to correct if I intend to be successful at dating(not those specific words)..."girls are emotional"...I have been told this(or similar statements not necessarily about dating) many times before...I don't think I can just will myself to change...it would take real world practice to break my ingrained response...
I should be thankful that at my grandfather's funeral this side of me was not on display...due to actually having feelings of sadness of my own...I suspect that people who see this side of me view me as unfeeling and cold-hearted...this pains me...but since I don't show emotion well no one ever really sees this and if I tell them I suspect they may thing my words disingenuous due to the lack of visible emotion...
did something happen to make me write this...yes
what happened...not telling...not my place...
did it affect me...yes...I hate when I cannot share in my friends and family members happiness and I hate when I cannot help shoulder some of the burden of their sadness...why else would I be writing this out...to help me to some small degree work through it...
I'll not leave this entry up long...the writing of it was more for me than the viewing of it is for you...
I have been this way for as long as I can remember...who's to say the cause, but I have tons of practice at behaving this way...so not it is almost a conditioned response...I just don't seem capable of empathizing with others at extreme moments of emotion...I have seen others cry with friends even though they had no reason to be sad except that their friend was sad...my emotions just seem to shut down...like a protective response...maybe that is what it is?...who's to say...
I was told recently that this is something I shall need to correct if I intend to be successful at dating(not those specific words)..."girls are emotional"...I have been told this(or similar statements not necessarily about dating) many times before...I don't think I can just will myself to change...it would take real world practice to break my ingrained response...
I should be thankful that at my grandfather's funeral this side of me was not on display...due to actually having feelings of sadness of my own...I suspect that people who see this side of me view me as unfeeling and cold-hearted...this pains me...but since I don't show emotion well no one ever really sees this and if I tell them I suspect they may thing my words disingenuous due to the lack of visible emotion...
did something happen to make me write this...yes
what happened...not telling...not my place...
did it affect me...yes...I hate when I cannot share in my friends and family members happiness and I hate when I cannot help shoulder some of the burden of their sadness...why else would I be writing this out...to help me to some small degree work through it...
I'll not leave this entry up long...the writing of it was more for me than the viewing of it is for you...