pixietom

So the main work desk went from this:


to this:


Oh -k- so it was clean and clear for like two days before I started on my next little doll project.
But now everything has its own little home. The brushes, the pastels, the watercolour stuff, and the airbrush paints.
My new project involves my first doll. My baby, that I decided would be fun to make her a mini version of me. Still different but me all and all. I decided it would be fun to give her my tattoos a long while ago, but its more so all the work and I really can't fuck up on her. Since she's tanned/dyed. Every time I remove work on her, so does her tan. I can't re-tan her because that would just cause uneven colour. So Its a battle to really go and do it or risk fucking her up. I already have to find a way to get the colour to re adjust her paling face.

Look:


Ignore the slight creepy-ness of her being completely apart. Haha.

So here after two days is what I got done.



She's not done. Her chest piece got a little sloppy so I have to fix that up and then add tiny little things to it, to really bring it life. I hope when I get mine in colour is comes out badass like this. And Yes... I decided I will get my fawn spots.
And just in case you guys don't understand the size difference, here is an example.

I don't know if its just in there genetics or if its just me, but I'm getting tired of it.
Nathan and I are still no where. Like I haven't even seen him in a few days which is fine, but before that I hadn't seen him for 2 weeks about. He doesn't text often, and I don't really feel bothered by it but I am... I just want to feel like he thinks of me. A text or something, but nah. Usually I have to start the conversation at random. Then after that he takes the steps. I feel like I could be putting my time and efforts toward someone else, I don't wanna be that girl and such but its pissing me off. I hate these little ticks I get about him.
So I haven't texted him for like 3 days, and the boys all had a barbecue of sorts together and he didn't ask me to come, why I didn't come, nothing.

Dating him I feel would still be a difficult task.
Where are the good guys? Can I have one? Please...

I even have a slight problem with my dreadlocks. I'm sort of not so much in love with them. More so I just miss my hair not like this. Straight or curled or how ever I want it be. My eyes aren't as white as they used to be, because of my anemia and now taking iron tablets and having more blood, well... Its solved the mystery why my eyes never got bloodshot. Now to me it seems like they are always bloodshot. Its unflattering. Its coming summer and despite the weather it begins to make me feels faded.
My usual chocolate vibrancy is dull and such under the sun. Then it seems I can't go out as much because I do tan and quick. I need to get a cloth umbrella to protect myself. I can finally wear dresses and such, so people wont look at me weird for wearing a dress in the middle of a snow storm. I may love the summer weather but it makes me feel so horrible.
Its raining in Seattle, I know its more like whens it not raining, but that's my favorite weather. Overcast and such. I should runaway there or to London.

Its weird. I'm literally stuck with the same people or for times I'm alone when I want to hangout with someone because everyone is either busy and those that aren't... don't live in this state. That's something I hate about the internet, its worldwide... International.... So I know people from bits of everywhere and yet there could be an ocean in between us. It all sucks more so because I just want people to hang out, and I may never be able to meet most of you.

I need knew friends. I need more phone buddies to talk to on the phone or text. I'm bored with the ones I have, though I still love them and I'm not good with meeting new people.