I keep having love affairs with my body. Its an interesting twist. Our fighting and need to prove to the other that I own this has become so... Interesting. The outcome of that. Me, tragically falling in love with my scars, scratches, nicks and so on and so forth. But when I wake up every morning, feeling different then the last it makes the need to do things with such little thought, practical. What am I rambling on and on about....?
I took pictures of myself for an imaginary lover at 7 in the morning. The outcome...
Next on the list.... I'm torn. Being bi sexual I feel like I constantly bitch about this sort of dilemma I put myself in. I honestly wish I could just pick a team. But now I just feel greedy. A lot more greedy then I should. I want things to happen but I'm also being rational. Well trying. Doesn't stop my thoughts from wandering and such.
Since New Year's I have developed a simple yet greedy crush upon CookiePuss. Which is foreign for me. I usually never have lasting feelings for girls and when they do... They are unavailable to me. Its so odd. Makes me feel like I'm not truly bi, but I just hold the girls I may desire on a much higher pedestal. But I love getting texts from her. If I could notice myself blush I'm sure I do when my phone dings and it is her, replying back. *Le sigh*
Next is my affair with boys. I still have so much of my feelings bottled up for Josh. I know at some point I will pop because of them. I need it to happen. Let that go. I'm not sure what I can do to get him... Do I shout it from fucking rooftops. Ones that he's currently under or what...? I feel like a seriously lost soul blinded and afraid, and for some reason I feel like/know that he's the only one that can truly save me from this... However did I get to this...?
But now their is this guy... Like entering the scene and he wants in. Like now. Not that I don't like him and such. Oh no I do. Just.. this is strange for me... Having someone like me is just... That never happens. And he's very like sexual. I'm not ready for that. I'm too innocent.That's my story and I'm sticking to it. He's got somethings I don't really approve of but... I'm trying to look past it for now.... at least
His name is Christian... I like it.
Yah... I like his hair and his gauges and junk. And his tattoos. That's fun.
I made some kick ass sugar cookies for my sorta friend Nate who is like a little celebrity. His youtube name and such is Naughty Nate. He amuses me. I sorta crush on him, but that's gonna fade. It should anyway. It was his birthday a few days ago so I made a shit ton of sugar cookies cause those are his favorite and yah. I miss being in her chatrooms. Hope he has one tonight... and I'm home.
That is all.
Love, peace and chicken grease. Gotta go get some stuff for my dreads.
And maybe hangout with Christian...
