Hahaha! So last night. I totally had a moment of... sadness.
I was crying and I honestly don't know why or what started it. But I got in my house last night and when I went down stairs to put on a shirt... something I'd call pjs but because I sleep with just undies on... Yah. It happened. I just started crying.
I have my own understanding of who it was about and such. Josh... This boy has turned me crazy.
I don't want to talk about it because its what goes through my head seemingly ever five seconds I'm awake. When I sleep, mostly its about him. Or he's in it or talked about.
So fate, destiny, cupid, life... Can you please just let me go... I really can't handle this. Your not making it easy for me to let this boy go, but I beg of you please do... Please...
In other news. My friends spent the night a few days ago. I made them breakfast. Spaghetti and french toast. No joke. It was fun. Then I baked a pretty little carrot cake which they devoured. I mean literally. We sat on my kitchen floor colouring in these coloring books I got with crayons and markers while the cake baked. It was so fun and lame all at the same time.
I'm trying to get my gay friend happy. I'm doing this whole 'lets fix everyone else's life while mine is sort of in shambles'... thing.
I feel like going off the grid for a little while. I'm not feelings like myself, yet I feel perfectly fine. Haven't felt better in such a long time. I'm tired of hearing I'm a great girl, we love you and any guy would be lucky to have you... Cause I'm still single. I try... and I get crap in return. I'm again losing faith in love. Though really I don't think I had much faith in it. I had faith that I was going to fall in love and such, but I never comprehend the return of emotions. Which I guess is understandable.
So I'm doing anything... I think for Halloween. I'm just gonna stay home and watch lame scary movies. Or some scary that might make me pee my pants a little.
I was crying and I honestly don't know why or what started it. But I got in my house last night and when I went down stairs to put on a shirt... something I'd call pjs but because I sleep with just undies on... Yah. It happened. I just started crying.
I have my own understanding of who it was about and such. Josh... This boy has turned me crazy.
I don't want to talk about it because its what goes through my head seemingly ever five seconds I'm awake. When I sleep, mostly its about him. Or he's in it or talked about.
So fate, destiny, cupid, life... Can you please just let me go... I really can't handle this. Your not making it easy for me to let this boy go, but I beg of you please do... Please...
In other news. My friends spent the night a few days ago. I made them breakfast. Spaghetti and french toast. No joke. It was fun. Then I baked a pretty little carrot cake which they devoured. I mean literally. We sat on my kitchen floor colouring in these coloring books I got with crayons and markers while the cake baked. It was so fun and lame all at the same time.
I'm trying to get my gay friend happy. I'm doing this whole 'lets fix everyone else's life while mine is sort of in shambles'... thing.
I feel like going off the grid for a little while. I'm not feelings like myself, yet I feel perfectly fine. Haven't felt better in such a long time. I'm tired of hearing I'm a great girl, we love you and any guy would be lucky to have you... Cause I'm still single. I try... and I get crap in return. I'm again losing faith in love. Though really I don't think I had much faith in it. I had faith that I was going to fall in love and such, but I never comprehend the return of emotions. Which I guess is understandable.
So I'm doing anything... I think for Halloween. I'm just gonna stay home and watch lame scary movies. Or some scary that might make me pee my pants a little.
Neck tattoo yay or neh?
Full back tattoo of fawn spots, yay or neh?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
i can't plan or anything, i have my (way too high) set expactations and usually no one comes even close. but ah... whatever it's hard and exhausting to try to explain... ^^
there is nothing good about being single to me, so i'm not happy with how things are and thinking back on how my life used to be makes everything so much worse.
don't be down!! feel better soon!!!
it's not odd to cook for friends, it's really nice. it just reminds me how different everything is now. right now the only friend i have that cooks for/with me is my lovely ex and all the other people aren't as close to me.
besides the pain, i also worry about the whole getting a job thing with a neck tattoo...
yeah, i thought i had found a good one, but apparently she isn't and she's not intrested in me anyways, so i'll to wait again.
don't let it get to you though!
it changes for me, sometimes i get overwhelmed with needs, but if i'm lucky i just sort of get numb and forget that. makes it easier, but probably isn't too good either. i try not to think about what i'm missing or not getting.
i'd love to have a chest piece, but i'm sure i couldn't handle it. i've become so very pain sensitive, it's a joke really...
it's stupid that tattoos still aren't completely accepted, but i think that'll change in a few years. it's just ink, get over it people