pixietom

Oh my goodness.

Today was a bad day. Horrible. It was perfect in the beginning and then like I was struck by lightening it changed. Instantly. Which made the already bad things in my mind merge and well...

I cried for a few hours. Like with the snot and everything. The works. My body is worn out.


Love just isn't for me. Ever. I give up. I know this also a lie, cause I'm gonna want to get back into that saddle whenever I can, but I don't know.
I've been the mistress, in too many things. I don't want to hurt anymore. Who does. I know my life isn't as hard as others... but my goodness. I do not need this. I've been through a year of constant shit. I don't need one more fucking thing. But OMG I'm gonna get it. because that's my luck. Stuck being alone because I'm worth so much more than the random guy and I don't want the random guy, but the ones I want do nothing and I mean nothing but hurt me, even females hurt me.

Love is abuse, love is beautiful. Love is horrible, love is an amazing event.
But I must put down my hands down. I'm not gonna bid on love anymore. I'm gonna try not to.
I never win in the end. Even if I did its so easy for them to walk away. That's what they do. Leave.

This girl is done, so please slap me if I make a comment about a guy that's not.
Brandon Boyd.


or Jake Snider.


I think its best to commit myself to someone I already know I can't have. In a nun-ly way. They are perfection walking this Earth.