Hey hey kidsters
So yes its been a while. Its not that I've been busy, just too drained and numbed to write. Thats the trouble I find with my job, sometime it just stops my brain functioning. the boredom is incredible at the moment, mixed with the odd stress induced headache...
Moving swiftly on, The house has been rewired, the landlord dropped some paint off so I could do the redecoration myself. This worked out better as it means I can do it when I want, rather than having to work around their timetable.
There was a lot of talk on here a few weeks back about body image... well I guess its maybe my turn now.
I think only 3 people know this, so count yourselves lucky!
I used to, and some extent still do, suffer from anorexia. This is one of the many fun and exciting ways that my depression rears its ugly head. I don't refuse food over body image, I just lose the desire to eat. I don't want to. At its worst point I went down to 98 pounds, these days I'm more 130 pounds. But I still have days where I starve myself when depression beckons at the door.
The net result of this is that apart from one part
I don't care much for my body. I can barely look at it within the mirror. People joke at my expense, they don't realise I suffer from depression and that maintaining my weight, let alone putting weight on is a constant battle between my mind, body and soul.
That is why this was so difficult.
So yes its been a while. Its not that I've been busy, just too drained and numbed to write. Thats the trouble I find with my job, sometime it just stops my brain functioning. the boredom is incredible at the moment, mixed with the odd stress induced headache...
Moving swiftly on, The house has been rewired, the landlord dropped some paint off so I could do the redecoration myself. This worked out better as it means I can do it when I want, rather than having to work around their timetable.
There was a lot of talk on here a few weeks back about body image... well I guess its maybe my turn now.
I think only 3 people know this, so count yourselves lucky!
I used to, and some extent still do, suffer from anorexia. This is one of the many fun and exciting ways that my depression rears its ugly head. I don't refuse food over body image, I just lose the desire to eat. I don't want to. At its worst point I went down to 98 pounds, these days I'm more 130 pounds. But I still have days where I starve myself when depression beckons at the door.
The net result of this is that apart from one part
I don't care much for my body. I can barely look at it within the mirror. People joke at my expense, they don't realise I suffer from depression and that maintaining my weight, let alone putting weight on is a constant battle between my mind, body and soul.
That is why this was so difficult.
There I did it, for all of you to see.
Theres not much else to say.
I'm determined to do some writing tomorrow..... we'll see how it goes and if I have time. Which seems to be very short at the moment. At least I got some gardening done and its a lot nicer to sit outside with a cuppa now.
Peace, love and melody
xx
But, your picture is not bad so no need for "
cute pic!x