pissed

2 things: I just found out today that my ex of 5 years (we broke up Oct. 2nd), fucked someone else less than a week after I moved out. The break up was my doing...I was talking to someone else & being sneaky about it & she found out. So the breakup was caused by ME being an asshole. However, after all that, I was honest, we had many heart to hearts & she wanted to work things out with me. She told ME that she didn't want to be with anyone else etc & that she wanted us to rebuild trust & see where it went. I see now that maybe she was pulling me back in so that she could hurt me as badly as I hurt her. I get it. It makes sense & I can't blame her. So why does this hurt so badly?

2nd: I got a job. It's doing what i want to do but part time. I'll be working at a hospital in Operations. When a f/t position comes available, I'll be offered first. This is a good thing.

That's about it. Today is very mixed. I wish I was in Seattle, near all my friends. I miss coffee talk.