piski

Ugh. Fever's back. Have circles under eyes the size of quarters. Hate being sick. Don't want to eat. Can't sit upright for more than a few minutes.

...Can't complete full sentances either, apparently.

If this forces me to repeat the semester, I'm going to be so upset.

Two "very special" thoughts for Valentine's Day:

Why is it that Web MD is so unhelpful? Everything is symptomatic of either an STD or cancer. Including a nonproductive cough. (At least it's not Yahoo Health, which gives you links to "Death and Dying" and "Weight Issues.") If I was in a position to "contact a medical professional," that's what I'd be doing, not searching online...
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Snow has me in a state of perpetual enthusiasm. I'm not used to real snow, snow that sticks, snow that can be made into formations and thrown without threat of serious injury. I'm an Atlantan, so I'm used to ice balls and mud/sleetmen. The novelty will probably wear off when I'm trekking through it to get to class tomorrow, but for now, it makes me...
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Snow!!

My mother's in town, and it makes me really happy. I've barely seen her since August, and I can use a little maternal love right now. She took Rigadoon and me out to dinner. Real food is the second-best part of parental visits.

yes, yes,
that's what
I wanted,
I always wanted,
I always wanted,
to return
to the body
where I was born.
- "Song," Allen Ginsberg

Saw the Chinese New Year parade in Chinatown today. Every time a confetti cannon went off, I felt inexplicably and sublimely happy.

Note to self:
Your room is too small to house three people for more than 24 hours.
Particularly when one of those people is an ex.

In that vein, I remembered another reason to be happy that I moved away from Atlanta. My...
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I'm having these self-indulgent travel fantasies. I'd drive from state to state just to escape this sense of stagnation. I'd tour seedy motels, small-town diners, and cities that I've never really thought about or had any desire to visit. I want to see the desert again, and mountains, and thick trees. I'd like to be without plans or purpose.

Maybe I've been stuck in this...
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The financial reality of renting an apartment come May is intimidating. On a bad day, it's even terrifying.

I'm envious of people who work in corporeal arts. Dancers, singers, actors, trapeze artists, visual artists, athletes. I miss beautiful things streaming and living through the body. I miss bliss in sore muscles and marked progress. I miss strained limbs and frustration.

Syllables and symbols are a different kind of purification. Maybe I'm just bored with it.