0
{(an explanation is included)}
i traced the lines exactly on the mark
my new best friend
they made the same scrape
against my bone and skin
i had always hoped for
their slight, nagging presence
keeps me in this moment

i waited slight moments
for their appearance
i am a child waiting
for the Polaroid's image
make yourself known
i fan the air with you...
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ratbugdave:
haha, my skills are not that great...that was bukowski
ratbugdave:
The Roominghouse Madrigals,p.97
0
i made myself sick
i hate waiting for drugs
but then again, i hate alot of things:
1. small, cute, furry animals
2. reggae
3. nice people
4. liars
5. stupidity, but only because i am.
0
i want to cry right now because i am so stupid
and i miss having someone that loves me
also, i am sick of trying to make things not fucked up
because that is all they will ever be.
thorr74:
wow, now i am sad
ratbugdave:
love is overratted and things will always be fucked up.
and now, a poem for you:


The Blackbirds are Rough Today

lonely as a dry and used orchard
spread over the earth
for use and surrender.

shot down like an ex-pug selling
dailies on the corner.

taken by tears like
an aging chorus girl
who has gotten her last check.

a hanky is in order your lord your
worship.

the blackbirds are rough today
like
ingrown toenails
in an overnight
jail---
wine wine whine,
the blackbirds run around and
fly around
harping about
Spanish melodies and bones.

and everywhere is
nowhere---
the dream is as bad as
flapjacks and flat tires:

why do we go on
with our minds and
pockets full of
dust
like a bad boy just out of
school---
you tell
me,
you who were a hero in some
revolution
you who teach children
you who drink with calmness
you who own large homes
and walk in gardens
you who have killed a man and own a
beautiful wife
you tell me
why I am on fire like old dry
garbage.

we might surely have some interesting
correspondence.
it will keep the mailman busy.
and the butterflies and ants and bridges and
cemeteries
the rocket-makers and dogs and garage mechanics
will still go on a
while
until we run out of stamps
and/or
ideas.

don't be ashamed of
anything; I guess God meant it all
like
locks on
doors.
0
roommates, other people's roommates that is, because mine aren't so bad, are fucking cocksmokers.
i lust after a different haircut, but i love the one i have. . .
i want it so short that its just fuzzy in some places.
this picture is so ridiculous. . . but i have no skills with computers and this is the only one around.
this day is...
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0
i want to fuck so bad i'm going a bit insane
it's weird when you hang out with someone so much, but you still feel like you are alone. . .
the most exciting thing that will happen today. . . i get to brush my teeth.
oh yes, then lunch with a very old friend that just might be able to do me a...
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deceptiviewfilm:
i watched the 40yr old virgin last night. as seeing that film...i know i need to ante-up my sex life.
0
i think i need to be alone more, but when i am i go crazy and think to much about things that will not change.
school has started but i don't really know it
0
i am empty, in a good way.
i am also very pathetic and needy
because i am a stupid bitch
0
i want to vomit.
school starts tomorrow and i'm going to a different city on the twelve
i'm afraid i won't be able to get out of this coma in time to go to school
or work or anything that i thought my life was composed of.
i want to smash my head apart or sleep forever
mezra:
Smashing your head apart sounds painful soooo just take a nap k.
m
0

humanity is a hammer to the brain
does your head hurt ?
because mine does.


i have fucked
about twelve
most never thought of
passing glances
shadowy figures
some names unknown
thank you
because if i knew you
i most likely would
have hated you
i know i am not horribly fond
of the ones
when i stayed around.