pirra

i loooovve these little orange pills tht taste of sugar and contain all the bitterness of unrequited love ( thankfully water washes it down just fine).
the scary part is i really don't feel fucked-up, i just feel more me and could amuse myself for hours alone. i hate this place, there is girls looking at me from every direction, straight, left, right. . .no matter which way i turn my head.

i talked to my mother for three hours today on this shit
apparently dad cheated on her quite a few times.
if he was supposed to be my mate for life, if thats what i had wanted (granted the entire idea seems ridiculous to me), i would never have stayed. if your loyalty has been given, sworn on, legally recognized, etc. . . how could you go back on that? they should have never married.
i just think about all the times my dad accused my mom of cheating on him, and she just kept her mouth shut and listened to him rage.but yes dad, homosexuality is wrong, sex is wrong, abortion is wrong, people ARE evil and they will get what is coming to them. . . i guess they will dad.
i guess you will.. .
I can't believe someone could be such a hipocrite. i can't believe i ever stood up for him, all those times i was on the wrong side. i wish my mother would have been stronger, i wish she hadn't just laid down and played the martyr in her head.

i want to cry, but i don't dare, this is not my home and i don't know these people.

with any luck, more drugs are on the way.