pirra

i hate those days where you wake up and wonder
how you got to where you are.
you wonder
how could i have made this work
how could i have made me happy
how could i have made anyone happy
i haven't stopped bleeding
and i'm starting to get scared
part of me really doesn't care
part of me hopes that i just slowly bleed away
baby killers deserve that much

classes are enjoyable for the most part
which is a miracle in itself
but i don't think i can make it to chem today
that over-bearing bastard can suck my clit
and rot in tar and shit.

i don't even think about cutting myself anymore
that was me making fucked-up
now i am so fucked
i've just become the average person walking down the street
albeit i act much more the homeless person

on a different note:
i love that people have an ability to read this
but i don't really know any of them
that there is a way to get all of this out
but i don't actually have to let anyone know
because lately talking to anyone
seems really pointless
this is with the assumption that i have anyone to talk to
though truthfully, i don't.
i think it's hilarious that most of the people who post on my journal are middle-aged men. ( sort-of)

i'm passed being able to fix myself
i want to live in a town all by myself
i want to walk through empty streets