piratenate

So I'd like to tell the story of the time I experienced the person who made unlimited texting possible....or should I say, necessary. I hate to bitch once again about cell phone use, but wow. This was actually really incredible, albeit ridiculous. On New Year's Day, I had cause to visit the restroom at Walmart. I know...great story already. Bear with me. So, I sat down in the stall to relieve myself and immediately noticed a persistent "clicking" noise from the stall right next to me. Within a minute, I figured out what this noise was. It was the sound of a man who, at first glance judging by his pantlegs bunched around his shoes, was probably doing exactly what I was doing, except for one thing - this talented dude was TEXTING too. This magnificent bastard apparantly had so much of value to say that his "conversation" could not possibly be put on hold for even a few minutes while he embarked on a porcelain bus ride. Now let me just say that I was not feeling the greatest, so I ended up sitting there for at least ten minutes...all ten of which were spent listening to this master of vocabulary's agile fingers dancing nimbly across his Blackberry's tiny keyboard like a midget Baryshnikov. Unfortunately, I failed to exit the restroom before he did....depriving me of the ability to actually see this lexiconic lothario who has so much to say "face-to-face". Although I must say that we all should be thankful that this man bears the cross for all of us who really do have a lot to say but no time to say it. For him to wake up every morning knowing that communication, for him, stops for nothing, must be an incredible dark cloud hovering over his soul...but Verizon heard his plea for unlimited texting...and he truly makes the term "unlimited" a reality. Rock on, oh god of texting....rock the fuck on.