piracy

i just noticed - it's leap year.


not that i would have done anything different had i realized earlier, but somebody shoulda told me.

now i have to wait four more years to be in perfect sync with cosmic revolutions - it only happens for an instant every four years that terrestrial time actually matches sidereal time - and i missed it!

now the anxious...
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i saw fourteen bands in four days, attending noisepop in the city.

i spent $122 on tix and drinks and food, or $182 if you count street drugs.

freebies include - 3 cds (pidgeon, gregory paul and the autumndivers, fred funk) 4 packs of american spirits (sponsors), 1 zippo (marlboro sponsor), 1 tshirt (music for america, (party 'n politics, not your usual party politics)), 3...
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iin san francisco there are internet terminals in the dance clubs.

whyever.

111 minna goes only till two, but the fucking coachwhips stopped at 12, no encore, dammit -

i think they'd broken their stuff, though... or maybe the crowd did. good stuff.


the music is picking up finally.

recap -

for noisepop: three mile hike through sanfrancisco, by the tracks, under controlled access breezeways?

highways?

what are those things...

the gray hound yard, the caltrain yard, a random coffee shop under a billboard, an equalateral triangle between 3 sts.. did they all dead end there?

then a lost wander, gaining and losing altitude and for a second i thought i'd spiraled in on...
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i'm low because i can't get popular on sg. i'm guess i'm just not likeable enough.

this has never been a problem before on chat - usually the people who were intelligent liked me and everybody else i harassed endlessly...

now, here, most of these people at least THINK they're smart, so they feel entitled to get all judgemental when i'm ... quixotic. life just...
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i'm listening to m83 at, well, top volume.

which is a lot.


something about this album, when i've had a couple drinks, makes me want to turn it up till it rips me apart.

today is a write-off day, an accidental holiday, reset the body clock and wait till the stores open. get a fresh start tomorrow with your friend, adderol.

um and ick. early...
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isn't this internet thing supposed to be, like, endlessly entertaining?

i'm bored, i can't find anything to do.


i've been online less and writing less, because i've been farming more. it's a hrad tradeoff.

i was writing a survey in my head as i fell asleep last night, with the first question: would you rather build a house or write a novel?

and so forth...
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the chat room on suicide girls should be better.


the stupid part is there is no why. no purpose or function, just a compulsion to hear voices, since i am lonely.

what i really want is pheremones.



mmm - girlness in proximity. that's sooo good. i miss that.

girl proximity is like a drug, or an obsession. a physical need.

i think about girls far...
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chat is self destructive: chatrooms are a lesson in futility.

(perhaps instead they're a statement of hope, that in every media, some voice will ring true. in that case, they're tragedic)

i've been in chat rooms longer than i've been smoking. they're pretty much worthless.


i sometimes think, when i'm really alone, that it's like never being alone.

instead. it's important to remember that youre...
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the aforementioned survey. don't bother trying it, but it's nifty, for a survey behemoth monster.


desert island: piano or typewriter?

would you rather be tyler durden (inspired but doomed) or
cornelius (a nobody with helena bonham carter)?

what color would you make your skin?

would you rather be able to see extra colors or sing extra
octaves?

would you rather be able to leap tall...
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----

after midnight


i am communicating with empty space.
i am reading the cosmic background
it's so fucking profound it makes me feel at home in my skin,
like i have a purpose.

yeah, so i go to chat rooms when i get really depressed.

it doesn't really help, but at least i'm not smoking.

----



my mother's crying in the other room. somehow i...
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the miserable status is drunk and something near content.

i have the ominously pleasurable prospect of sorting thoroughly through old notebooks soon, and with a purpose, even!

maybe i'll introdcue some characters here soon.



i'm in a good mood despite my wan madness.

i will be fine, i must get this job, i must get up at seven in the morning.

woo. nursery job!

woo!...
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