pinkwhiskey

so the short version is that i lied to the boy when he and i first hung out again over christmas.
it was a "big" lie, but with my track record i honestly didn't think he and i would still be talking, every night, and developing this relationship.
the lie was something that if we become a couple would have had to be aired.
i called him last night at midnight my time, i couldn't sleep, i had to let him know the truth.
i have faith that if this is meant to be we can work through it, but it still makes me sick to my stomach to know that i hurt him and made him angry and that i might have ruined such a potentially wonderful thing.
i left him a message after work.
i don't know if he'll call tonight or not.
i hope he does.
i hope he can forgive me.
stupid me.