pinkskulls21

I can't believe it. It's already been 6 months since Kev died. It still feels fake. Sometimes I dream about him. The other night I had a dream about him dying all over again, and I woke up and thought that his death was a dream and that he was still alive. Thank god for medication or I wouldn't ever sleep.
There were so many people at his funeral. I can't help but wonder if that many people would go to mine. I hope so.
He may have only been a step-brother, but he felt like a whole sibling.
I miss the ghetto way he used to answer the phone when I'd call.
I miss how excited he was every time I got a new tattoo.
I miss the way he said "yeeeh"
I miss the over-sized pants
I miss the way we bonded as a punk and a gangsta
I miss the way the family got along when he was around
I miss the way he loved our 1 yr old brother
I miss him at the holidays
I miss him.
Alot.

His birthday's coming up. I'm thinking about buying a yankees cap and bringing it down to the graveyard.

On my way home from mom's at X-mas, I stopped by his grave. I cried, and layed on the dead grass beside him. The sky was just a blanket of grey clouds. And I stayed there for so long. It was so cold. But I just couldn't leave. I wanted to stay there forever. And just watch the clouds with him...

God I miss him.