pinkraindrops

I didn't get to bed last night until around 7am, so I slept until 6 pm, went back to bed a half an hour later and slept until 10pm. So here I sit. I suppose if I took my pills I'd probably fall asleep but, eh, who cares anymore?

I re-dyed my hair tonight. you know, its a good thing I don't go blue because I'd look like a fucking smurf (Drunky Smurf? yeah, that fits). I have pink all over my neck, my hands, my arm, my face, my leg, my boob (which baffles me since I wore a shirt. Yeah. I pretty much can't get that "do it carefully and you won't get it on your skin" thing.

Sitting here with my rum and coke (DAMN the rum's gone), crying because I have a lonely crying guinea pig, and pondering that ever present existential question "if you could go back and change one moment, what would you change, and what would happen?"
It came up the other day in a conversation I was having with a girlfriend. She broke up with her long time boyfriend shortly after I broke up with Chris. I can think of a dozen moments I would change if I could, but how do you pick the right one (were it actually possible). Would things be the way I want the to be, or would I be on a completely differnt road that I don't lke? What if I went back even further into my childhood, or earlier adult years, would I have even met him or half the other people I know?

I fucking hate existentialism

My AA Natzi friend called and left me a message, all god damned perky and shit "Sorry I haven't called you back, I've been spending time with Patrick." Blah blah blah. She just broke up with a guy she dated for a year and now she's on to a new one.I think she just can't live with out the gratification of having "a man."

Me? I just don't know what the fuck to do. Damn shit life.