Fucking crap, I swear. I hate being all whiney and "poor me"......UGH.
So, since I was made full time @ work, and I start next week, this is my last weekend to go out, right? Just so happens my best friend came in town Friday, since she had a wedding to go to Saturday. She, however, decided not to hang out with me Friday, and she decided to leave me hangin' at home Saturday. Out of 2 nights you couldn't free up a tad bit of time to hang out w/ your freakin' best friend who you probably won't get to hang out with for quite a while? I just don't understand this. Not to mention, I'm riding w/ her to Columbus Sunday (her and her wonderful boyfriend) because I told her I would like to go to her graduation, she offered to drive me up there, and now my car is making some kind of horrendous noise that I have no idea what it is. SO that means my options on coming home are- coming home w/ her parents, having her drive me back that night, or hanging w/ her a few days and having her bring me back sometime later this week. Unfortunately, I would probably be a bit wierded out by having her parents drive me home, but I have stuff I need to do BADLY like clean and do laundry, since I'm almost out of work clothes. I would feel incredibly bad having her bring me home Sunday night though. GRRR.
In addition to all this, Tony tells me today that he's going to night shift---except that its FRONT HALF nights (Mon, Tues, Wed,) and I'll be working back half nights. sigh. I was so heartbroken when he told me that. But, I figure, it gives me incentive to do overtime
I told him that too, at the end of the day. I told him I was gonna miss my eye-candy, but that's incentive for me to do overtime. He said we'll work something out, and he mentioned that he still has to give his buddy Chris a ride in to work on back half days, so we'd probably be crossing paths quite a bit while I'm on my way in and out..... That was cause for quite a bit of giddyness on my part.
Too bad I didn't have a camera @ work today cause 2 of the guys from shipping put the shipping "shrink wrap" type stuff all around Tony's truck--top to bottom, around the doors, so they had to cut it off to get in. HILARIOUS. I so love the people I work with on day shift. I'm so afraid I won't get along w/ the night folks.
And I'm totally going to miss my buddies! Dave made me give him a hug today....and I got a hug from Lori. Its like one big disfunctional family there. God I hope something opens up on day shift soon, cause I hear the most of the night shift folks enjoy working on nights, and would rather do that than days due to the shift differential.
And since I'm in a general crappy mood, here's some song lyrics to end my day
Keith Urban "Tonight I Wanna Cry"
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Kenny Chesney "The Tin Man"
Saw a man in the movies that didn't have a heart
How I wish I could give him mine
Then I wouldn't have to feel it breaking all apart
And this emptiness inside would suit me fine.
It's times like these
I wish I were a tin man
You could hurt me all you wanted
And I'd never even know
I'd give anything just to be the tin man
And I wouldn't have a heart and I wouldn't need a soul.
Kenny Chesney "You Had Me From Hello"
Inside I built a wall
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't going to love again
The last time was the last time I'd let someone in
But you had me from hello
I felt love start to grow
The moment I looked into your eyes you won me
It was over from the start you completely stole my heart
And now you wont let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from hello
Keith Urban "You're Not Alone Tonight"
We all drink to forget
Some of us more than most
When reality gets too real
And the fires of hell to close
But I'm here to let you know that
That you can make it through
If you believe that someone is watchin' over you
And call it an angel
Call it a muse
And call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in a name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
'Cause it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight
We all have our days
When nothing goes as planned
Not a soul in the world
Seems to understand
And for someone to talk to
You'd give anything
Well go on and cry out loud
'Cause someone's listenin'
Damn this is long, isn't it? but this is the best place for me to express anything I don't want certain people to read, especially certain people that are close to me. Its like a secret diary for me.
I would also like to comment on a few other things. The folks that work on the back half days apparently liked working with me. I've heard nothing but good stuff since news got around that I got full time and had to go to nights. Lots of folks are glad I got hired. Jackie, this older woman I worked with th other day, paid me a HUGE compliment today--I was so scared to work with Jackie when I first met her. Well, she told Florence today that I'm such an easy going person, and I tend to make the best of what's given to me--I try to have fun at any job I'm assigned, unlike some people who are always grumpy. that makes me feel so good.
I worked with Ken all day today, he's from front half days- Ken's a nice guy, older, married, etc, he's fun. We got to talking about Tony and such, needless to say, he knows about my crush on Tony now. Everyone tells me that Tony's married, and that's cool, I'm not a homewrecker, that's why I can't be too terribly obvious at work and such, cause rumors will start to fly, and that's just not cool. Well, Ken then proceeds to tell me that Tony's wife is a bitch, etc etc, and Tony could probably really use someone like me, who would treat him good. ARGH. Why even put that thought into words and cause me more issues? Lust is definately one of the 7 deadly sins. I'm going straight to hell I tell ya. But I just can't help it.
Do you have anyone that you just can't get out of your freakin' head? No matter how hard you try, its impossible? I could count the days before going back
to work, until I could see him again........I know! its terrible. I can't help it though. Its impossible to shut down that part of my brain unless I have it permanently removed! I was working on the binder yesterday and every time he took a bathroom break and walked by, he would say something silly to me, and I would just get a big cheesy grin. I can't help it.
So, since I was made full time @ work, and I start next week, this is my last weekend to go out, right? Just so happens my best friend came in town Friday, since she had a wedding to go to Saturday. She, however, decided not to hang out with me Friday, and she decided to leave me hangin' at home Saturday. Out of 2 nights you couldn't free up a tad bit of time to hang out w/ your freakin' best friend who you probably won't get to hang out with for quite a while? I just don't understand this. Not to mention, I'm riding w/ her to Columbus Sunday (her and her wonderful boyfriend) because I told her I would like to go to her graduation, she offered to drive me up there, and now my car is making some kind of horrendous noise that I have no idea what it is. SO that means my options on coming home are- coming home w/ her parents, having her drive me back that night, or hanging w/ her a few days and having her bring me back sometime later this week. Unfortunately, I would probably be a bit wierded out by having her parents drive me home, but I have stuff I need to do BADLY like clean and do laundry, since I'm almost out of work clothes. I would feel incredibly bad having her bring me home Sunday night though. GRRR.
In addition to all this, Tony tells me today that he's going to night shift---except that its FRONT HALF nights (Mon, Tues, Wed,) and I'll be working back half nights. sigh. I was so heartbroken when he told me that. But, I figure, it gives me incentive to do overtime
I told him that too, at the end of the day. I told him I was gonna miss my eye-candy, but that's incentive for me to do overtime. He said we'll work something out, and he mentioned that he still has to give his buddy Chris a ride in to work on back half days, so we'd probably be crossing paths quite a bit while I'm on my way in and out..... That was cause for quite a bit of giddyness on my part.
Too bad I didn't have a camera @ work today cause 2 of the guys from shipping put the shipping "shrink wrap" type stuff all around Tony's truck--top to bottom, around the doors, so they had to cut it off to get in. HILARIOUS. I so love the people I work with on day shift. I'm so afraid I won't get along w/ the night folks.
And I'm totally going to miss my buddies! Dave made me give him a hug today....and I got a hug from Lori. Its like one big disfunctional family there. God I hope something opens up on day shift soon, cause I hear the most of the night shift folks enjoy working on nights, and would rather do that than days due to the shift differential.
And since I'm in a general crappy mood, here's some song lyrics to end my day
Keith Urban "Tonight I Wanna Cry"
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Kenny Chesney "The Tin Man"
Saw a man in the movies that didn't have a heart
How I wish I could give him mine
Then I wouldn't have to feel it breaking all apart
And this emptiness inside would suit me fine.
It's times like these
I wish I were a tin man
You could hurt me all you wanted
And I'd never even know
I'd give anything just to be the tin man
And I wouldn't have a heart and I wouldn't need a soul.
Kenny Chesney "You Had Me From Hello"
Inside I built a wall
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't going to love again
The last time was the last time I'd let someone in
But you had me from hello
I felt love start to grow
The moment I looked into your eyes you won me
It was over from the start you completely stole my heart
And now you wont let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from hello
Keith Urban "You're Not Alone Tonight"
We all drink to forget
Some of us more than most
When reality gets too real
And the fires of hell to close
But I'm here to let you know that
That you can make it through
If you believe that someone is watchin' over you
And call it an angel
Call it a muse
And call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in a name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
'Cause it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight
We all have our days
When nothing goes as planned
Not a soul in the world
Seems to understand
And for someone to talk to
You'd give anything
Well go on and cry out loud
'Cause someone's listenin'
Damn this is long, isn't it? but this is the best place for me to express anything I don't want certain people to read, especially certain people that are close to me. Its like a secret diary for me.
I would also like to comment on a few other things. The folks that work on the back half days apparently liked working with me. I've heard nothing but good stuff since news got around that I got full time and had to go to nights. Lots of folks are glad I got hired. Jackie, this older woman I worked with th other day, paid me a HUGE compliment today--I was so scared to work with Jackie when I first met her. Well, she told Florence today that I'm such an easy going person, and I tend to make the best of what's given to me--I try to have fun at any job I'm assigned, unlike some people who are always grumpy.
that makes me feel so good.
I worked with Ken all day today, he's from front half days- Ken's a nice guy, older, married, etc, he's fun. We got to talking about Tony and such, needless to say, he knows about my crush on Tony now. Everyone tells me that Tony's married, and that's cool, I'm not a homewrecker, that's why I can't be too terribly obvious at work and such, cause rumors will start to fly, and that's just not cool. Well, Ken then proceeds to tell me that Tony's wife is a bitch, etc etc, and Tony could probably really use someone like me, who would treat him good. ARGH. Why even put that thought into words and cause me more issues? Lust is definately one of the 7 deadly sins. I'm going straight to hell I tell ya. But I just can't help it.
Do you have anyone that you just can't get out of your freakin' head? No matter how hard you try, its impossible? I could count the days before going back
to work, until I could see him again........I know! its terrible. I can't help it though. Its impossible to shut down that part of my brain unless I have it permanently removed! I was working on the binder yesterday and every time he took a bathroom break and walked by, he would say something silly to me, and I would just get a big cheesy grin. I can't help it.
so what are you days / hours gonna be now?
i think thats the longest journal entry you've EVER written here on SG. and yes, its good to vent & say whats on your mind...thats what our journals are for!