pinkfuckermeow

Hello to all of you! my journal is becoming more and more spaced! I am kinda going thru some major changes in my life right now and have not been on the computer much. Me and my EX husband had been hanging out alot and I had been staying there at his house so I could be with my babies. We have joint custody.... and by my choice he has PRIMARY at the moment! He has a tendency to be MIA when I have the KIDS and I got really tired of my children being FATHERLESS to I made the choice to give him PRIMARY so that they could have a DAD, I knew I would keep up with Childsupport and REGULAR visits and weekends so I passed him the BALL for awhile. But for the last 4 days he was acting VERY STRANGE and then I figured it out... You remember how I told you the MY BEST FRIEND OF 13 YEARS ran off with my HUSBAND...... well she got back in town about 4 days ago and ever since, He had been acting VERY STRANGE!!! she took the car from him.... so who did he call for HELP????? me... So I got up and took my babies to school and daycare yesturday and then about 3 o'clock he has my phone ALL demanding and TELLS me I need to pick up "your" kids at daycare care, I then told him that I already figured that... THEN he SAID and your going to take them..... I said sweety I can't take them to my house right now... you know this because I am redoing the house and it is no place for the kids to be at RIGHT NOW!!! I said thats why I have been coming to your house to spend time with them.... REMEMBER???? So then he proceeded to YELL at me at the top of his LUNGS threatening that if I did't take the KIDS then he was going to do all this "LEGAL" shit and me being the FUCK UP I am I tucked my self confidence in a little box,( the same box that is was TUCKED in for * and a half YEARS of being with him.) and I gave into his THREATS!!! don't get me wrong... I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING THE TIME I AM GETTING TO SPEND WITH MY KIDS but I brought all the clothes and pull ups wipes EVERYTHING to this mans house while I am remodeling my house so #1 I have no warm clothes for them here (MY GRANNY'S HOUSE) #2 The medication that they ALL need because they are all SICK especially Desiree', she had to have Xrays taken of her chest to make sure she didn't have some serious shit going on and they gave her SPECIAL meds to prevent it from happening just in case! So back to the story... I told him to sober up and I would come to his house to be with the kids because I could tell he needed a BREAK and I am all GOOD with that... I told him I was going to call him when I picked up the kids and to meet me at his house even if it is only to unlock it and then leave and WOW... he never answered his phone all 100 times I have called in 9 hours. He has yet to call back... So I go to his house where he is suppose to meet me and uhmmmmm.... no one answers the door! He as completely ABANDONED his respondsibility and since he has had the kids living at his house he has been very respondsible and now all the sudden he has FUCKING LOST HIS HEAD.... In the courts eyes right now he can be deemed UNFIT because of this shit.... I FEEL SO SAD FOR MY BABIES..... I FEEL SO SAD FOR HIM TOO.... I texted him and still no responds.... i wonder if he is ok????
He probally is.... he is probally just DRUNK and HIGH and FUCKING EVERYONE IN SIGHT!!!! I HATE WHO I AM WHEN HE IS IN MY LIFE.... and I actually believed we could be friends.....

x0x0~PiNkY