So, my car is on its last wheels. Brakes are in serious need of repair, electrical issues are making the horn go off at times other than when I push it (for instance, when I start the car, hit speed bumps or potholes, or leave the turn signal on for too long), the A/C has't worked for at least a year, the heat works but not well, the bumper and left fender are rusting and unpainted (the latter caused the former, of course), I'm missing my passenger-side mirror, the check engine light is on and remains on regardless of how much money I pour into getting it fixed, and it's covered in assorted scrapes, dents, and scratches.
I would like to spend this blog listing traits of my ideal but realistic car, just to put that out to the universe.

2004 model or newer
Fewer than 100,000 miles
All one color
Automatic transmission
Rear windshield wipers and defroster would be a perk
At least 30 MPG highway and 25 city
Fully functional air conditioning
Cloth interior
Four door sedan or coupe
Remote start would be a perk
Power windows (luxury, not necessity)
Power locks (same as above)
6 cylinder engine ideal, 4 acceptable.

And costs around $5k. That isn't asking too much, is it?