For sale: two tits.
My mom used to comfort me when I had to shop for clothes by saying that there are women who have payed tens of thousands of dollars for a chest like mine. So I am taking advantage of this. The winning bidder gets my boobs implanted on them. Think about it: none of the uncomfortable silicone feeling, for you or whoever is groping em. All you have to do is pay for the surgery to take them off me and put them on you. It's that simple!
To give an idea of size, the best-fitting bras I have are 38E, and those are too small in the cup and too big in the band.

I am even willing to split it between two or more people. Just need one cup size? No worries. You can get as much or as little as you'd like.

Operators will be standing by to take your bids.