pilar

i think i am lacking one key aspect to life...
MOTIVATION

it's like it comes and goes...and right now it has left the damn building...

this past week has me thinking all kind of weird things...
like what if?
and what should i do?
should i wait?
should i say fuck it?

the only thing i can say for sure is that i never know what is going on...
it's like i used to be so good at reading people...
now all i can do is look at them and wonder...
slowly and slowly i feel like i'm loosing everything i used to know about myself...things that all seemed so simple now seem soooo complicated...
i guess part of growing up is seeing yourself in different lights...in different contexts...in different settings...
the more i look at myself the more i don't recognize things about me...or maybe its more i dont want to feel like i am changing...but i am changing so much...so much mentally...
a month has passed into this new year...i had a good plan for this year...everything so positive...everything so perfect...
i have no idea where that plan went...or where i'm headed...